Turn Your Troubles into Blessings
I love the family pictures! Those kids were soooo cute! Still, all the photo albums are big and bulky. Do I have time to scan them all? Probably not, but I’m getting started anyway! To my good fortune, my friend, Vanessa, wants to help because she likes being in my little garden apartment space. So, that may be a great trade – ambiance for scanning!
OK! Let’s go this! She’s already gotten started with several dozen scanned photos on the hard drive.
Yes, those kids were sooo cute!
Even a pickup truck is a “small” container for the things I want to keep. Maybe I’m not 100% committed to this Hiking Lifestyle!
That’s true, I admit. And to clarify, I’m calling what I’m creating “nomadic” which means that I can easily move. At this moment, there are still things I want to keep that won’t fit in my backpack!
But I want them “later”. That’s when I’m finished hiking, when I have a small domicile again.
Or, maybe I just like my stuff!
Fifteen days sounds infinitely longer than fourteen! There’s something about saying “just two weeks more” that makes the unfinished list look endless and the unsorted stuff look mountainous!
It’s time to step into “through-hiker” mode! On the trail, that means get up early and walk past dark, stopping for only short breaks.
I’m thinking that for moving, it might mean “get more help”! I think the main help I could use is this
1. Feed me!
2. Help me sell things
3. Help me schedule the tasks
Whoosh! The days are flying by. Now that Spring has sprung, I’ll bet the momentum will pick up even more. Transformation of The House from my family’s humble, unadorned lifestyle to styled and high-end chic, is underway in earnest.
How am I feeling about all of this? Complacent and surrendering. This is not my home any more! This is a showpiece to attract someone else! The friendly blue of the exterior that welcomed me home is succumbing to a neutral cream. When asked what I think of the color, I say, “It’s not my opinion that counts! It’s all up to Randy! It’s not important to attract ME. In fact, it’s best to NOT attract me because I want to leave!”
Twice in the past twelve hours, friends have used the word “hard” to qualify their endeavors. Since that gave ME a charge, I figure that’s something for me to look at. “Hard”, for me, implies a list of judgments like:
“this is not acceptable”
“I don’t like this”
“I’m being forced to do something.”
When I say something is hard, there’s always a resistance to the undertaking. I’m going ahead with something reluctantly, half-heartedly, doing it only because something outside of me says it must be done.
There’s nothing that energizes me quite like a nice walk in the woods,especially if it’s in the woods on a long-distance trail! Walking from the Len Foote Hike Inn back to my car at Amicalola Falls Park Visitor’s Center, I danced down the trail, meeting a dozen fresh hikers starting their treks to Maine.
It’s so heartwarming to me to talk with hikers just beginning their long walk, knowing what they may encounter. I tingle inside in surrogate celebration and inner pride, wishing deeply for their success.
Yesterday was a miracle day! That’s when synchronicities happen that are hard to miss. I want to believe that freeing my body of that “unworthiness” belief created an energetic space for three events:
1. A prospective client called
2. A significant local advertiser invited me to be the featured community sponsor
3. My mentor group nourished me with lavish attention
4. My ideal client responded to an interview request immediately
5. I shared information, tips, and ideas on Facebook and they were gladly received.
Wow! Until I actually experience something, it’s just a theory! Even though I’ve been a student of Radical Forgiveness for 7 years, I have only had this direct physical feeling of letting go of an old emotional pain that has taken up residence in my body a few times. Can you relate?
Here’s how it happened for me early this morning. I woke up abruptly. “Oh no, my sore throat is back!” I felt restless and had to get up and sneeze and pee and blow my nose. I couldn’t get back to sleep because “something” wanted to move inside me. In that sore spot in my liver area.
I’m feeling a little more energetic today. I may even be ready to begin what appears as my next task toward beginning my Nomadic Lifestyle. So far, I’ve made a couple of big steps – at least in MY mind:
Now, comes the emotional letting go of my marriage. There’s not much physical stuff remaining of that, we have been physically separate for almost a year now.
The house, however, is right here with me. And, even though I’ve already given away about 70% of the belongings, what’s left seems like the really difficult things to give away. Hmmm Maybe that will change too as I honor my feelings and become WILLING to have them.
It’s 27 days until I move away from my home of 12 years, with the house ready to sell and my belongings pared down to what I need for a Nomadic Lifestyle.
Today, I rested, I mean really rested!
I allowed myself to succumb to the sore throat and fatigue I’ve been feeling the past few days. I’m noticing that deep feelings of sadness and resistance are coming up. Even though this move makes sense, there’s a fear about it. There’s the fear of this new way of life, with so many details unformed. There are doubts. And there is sadness about leaving this place that has supported so many years of creativity in my life.