December 17, 2017
My role in my family is unclear. I’m making this up as I go. I am a lone grandmother. I miss John Reiter just because he should be with me because we were married. I miss the security of our former finances. We could be traveling and visiting grandchildren as retirees. But that’s a fantasy because he wants to work and not be with me because of who I am and never should have married me, so we are both lone grandparents. Besides, it’s not my business to know what he’s thinking unless he wants to tell me. I wish I had stood up for myself and our marriage more staunchly, but then I wouldn’t have done my fulfilling walks and felt loved and done my fulfilling jobs. We would have divorced anyway. My lessons in this lifetime are about shame, sexuality, personal responsibility, among others.
Forgivenesswalks is waiting for me to step up and do the work. I feel alone in that too. No one else is doing forgivenesswalks right now although there are a few women who might be attracted to sharing it.