Category: Outreach

May 4, 2017

I know I must have limiting beliefs about relating because I feel entangled, stuck, resistant. He even says, emphatically, “No, we have not achieved all we can in our relationship!” However, when I contribute that what I want in a relationship is transformation of Old Stories, he says, “I want to support you getting that.” (Not, “yes, I want that too!”)

It occurs to me that individual fulfillment could be achieved solo! My biggest resistance to committing to partnership with him is forfeiting my preferences. I’m enjoying a lot about being solo. read more

April 22, 2017

39 days solo remain. I got up at the usual alarm time and took a walk! I headed east on the dirt road. Coolness and sunlight bathed me. Stiffness relaxed somewhat. Quiet and ease, contentment at designing my morning, lightened my step. “I can wander as I want!”

Projects to accomplish flooded my mind, begging a list. “Not today. Just walk.” I watched ants forging a broad path in a short time. Resolute.

Solo, but definitely not lonely!

January 3, 2017

I’m perusing an award winning business mentor’s site. She lists products and services from  $19.95 for the book to $50,000 for personal coaching.

I’m saying no, no, no.

What’s behind my no?

I can’t/won’t put my success first, above my job, above my relationship. I assume that transforming myself and my business, my lifestyle, my image, my offerings, would be a full-time, total life makeover endeavor, and that’s too much change!

Not even this success by design master can make MY idea successful! Why? Because my idea is too different. And, again, because I am not 100% committed to fulfilling my dream, telling others that I’m doing it, then dedicating my whole self to it!!  read more

January 3, 2017

Here’s my story:

Because he is uncomfortable talking about “sensitive” topics like finances, life dreams, what we’re creating together, politics, I can’t talk about them. I can’t have an intimate relationship, just a sexual one, a caretaking one, a partnered one.

Because he doesn’t want to do Touch for Health with me, or play Satori, paint, journal, or sing that means that I don’t do those things unless I find others outside our relationship to do them with. read more

December 27, 2016

Not talking doesn’t work for me. Relating with him now is like relating to my own 40-year old self. Keeping my opinions and preferences bottled up til they explode out, silent response and revealing body language, poverty consciousness and feigned then regretted generosity. 

I want to relate and create from where I am NOW! Relate with conscious purpose, striving for conscious, vibration-raising conversation.

The situation: john is driving along the carlsbad coast witbout speaking. I don’t know his plan or his desire. He spoke earlier of gping on the walk he told me about which I didn’t hear (“you weren’t listening”). I had envisioned doing our REI errand then returning to take johanna back. Well, we just got on I-5 going north. No walk? Dont know. No speaking.  read more

November 8, 2016

Election Day, and I believe that the Radical Forgiveness tools could make a difference for people in the aftermath! Colin shared a  blogpost about that very topic. My mind spins with the idea of having a FB group to field stories and share the tools. 

The idea is followed immediately with doubts and beliefs! “I don’t have time! I don’t have internet! I shouldn’t charge for membership!”

What can I do? What could go wrong? Why not do this?  read more

October 6, 2016

There are things I want to do and ways to be that I have been putting off. Although it’s easiest to say that it’s because I “can’t do those things from within my current partnership.” I put that in quotes because I know that those words are spoken by my victimself settling for her unfulfilling Old Story!

Here are some of what’s missing:

Singing/Playing Satori/Regular Touch-for-health/Using Radical Forgiveness tools every day to expand into love/Visiting friends and family/Fulfilling Forgivenesswalks/Walking slowly and observing Nature/Painting….. read more

October 5, 2016

It seems urgent to me that my mother has an explicit plan for her life’s concluding chapter. She’s 89 and says, “this body just needs to die. I miss Jim, and just feel ready to be finished.”

She doesn’t want to talk about how to do that, or what quality of life she wants, or the many variations of those conversations that seem important to ME.

So, it occurs to me that maybe these are questions for ME to explore for myself!

What’s important to me about rounding out my life- physically, emotionally, spiritually. What is this even called? Who is discussing what it looks like to live fully, in good health and spirit and then leave one’s body in completion? I don’t mean suicide, I mean at one’s time of completion!  read more