Why I Want to Stay Alive

My brother chose to leave this physical life a few months ago or so it appears. I honor him and accept his choice. Although I don’t know his reasons or what he was trying to leave, it inspires me to discern my own journey through frustration in a miserable marriage.

There I was, feeling trapped in a relationship fraught with criticism, dispassion, emotional abuse, betrayal, loneliness, and boredom. I blamed myself for choosing it. Had I not created it all myself out of my own self-hatred, as I was learning in my Radical Forgiveness training?

What a fraud I was! If I was so smart to have these amazing tools for shifting energy, how come they weren’t working to save my marriage?

I lamented from under the bed covers, a throbbing headache blinding me to solutions that could free me from my emotional prison.

“There has to be a way out of this besides dying!” , a small, inner voice said.

But why?
Why choose life?

Well, here are some of my reasons.

Death is messy. Someone has to clean up the body.
There are people who would be sad and miss me.
I love what I can do in a body! I can walk in Nature. Paint with beautiful colors. Hike in mountains and sleep outside. Eat fresh strawberries. Have good sex. And that’s just the start of a list.

You can add yours if you like.

Today, several years after that pivotal cry, I sit at a mountain waterfall, working as a professional hiker. My marriage did end- with the help of the tools of Radical Forgiveness – and I rejoice in my choice of Life!

I guess that’s my Independence Day thought.

I celebrate the Freedom to choose life, supported by this free nation where I can express the choice of life. And that, I see, I must first choose for myself.

Come choose with me

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