The other day, a client asked me this. My answer: When you can THANK the person you’re forgiving for giving you this opportunity to learn and grow.
You’re kidding, right?
No. I’m serious.
I’m also talking about Radical Forgiveness, which calls only for a tiny bit of willingness to be open to the possibility that from a spiritual perspective everything happens for a reason.
Yes, everything. We’re talking radical here.
And we’re talking about even the smallest, tiniest, littlest inkling of willingness to be the slightest bit open to the most minuscule possibility that this could have a remote possibility of healing and purpose from a spiritual perspective. There’s a lot of wiggle room here.
This week I walked a short section of the Appalachian Trail where I had experienced an upset the first time I walked there six years ago. This time, however, I had the tools of Radical Forgiveness with me and instead of upset I had healing and release!
As the Earth passed under my feet, those old emotions surfaced and the memories of being misunderstood, ignored, abandoned and shunned by my hiking partner popped up along with the feelings I had felt at that time. It amazed me how little I remembered of the trail itself, the terrain, the forest, the route. All the feelings came right back, though! I could feel them in my body!
I sold my house yesterday.
My nomadic lifestyle has now begun in earnest.
I have the urge to enclose myself, to delve deep inside to discover my new self.
One safe and at home wherever I am in the World.
For tonight, though, I am grateful for the luscious bed at my friend’s B&B near the Appalachian Trail. I lean into the familiar lifestyle of a carefully furnished and decorated home. (Not like my own home ever was!)
Tomorrow, or maybe the next day
My roaming can begin.
Homelife grounds me, assuring me that someone is home.
Today, I sat in one of my favorite spots on the Appalachian Trail, overlooking the James River. Sitting on this rock ledge, a hiker looks south to the ridges that she has traversed over the past days while walking north.
Here, I drink in the sensory delights of rocks and air and sky and light, glad to be grounded in the physical world of Earth! At the same time, I reflect on the passing of my brother who chose to leave this realm for the non-physical experience of Heaven. In this place, magically, I feel closer to BOTH worlds! Grounded in the physical realm, yet easily imagining and subtly sensing the spiritual realm.
I have a confession to make about this countdown! I planned in a few days of “cushion” time, knowing that if I used my drop dead final day for leaving for my new job, I’d be in the state I am today on my truly last day! Well, that was smart! I had planned to use that cushion taking an extra trip up to the Len Foote Hike Inn, prepared to need the days for unfinished moving business.
As I had suspected, my fictitious penultimate day has me feeling stressed, on the brink of my Stress Syndrome, when I feel nauseous, headachey, cold, and sleepy! This time, I caught myself slipping into it and addressed it. Instead of eating carbohydrates that I crave, I ate a salad with living sprouts and nutritional yeast (for the B vitamins). I breathed into the day, and did a Radical Forgiveness “Emerge-n-See” process, those 4 magical steps to energy shift.
“I need a handyperson to come get this box of useful gadgets,” I said. I was stuck sorting a box of tape, a pair if shut-off valves, fence hinges, a wisk broom, string, dryer vent, window squeegee, and other sundry items.
“This is all useful to SOMEONE!”
I pecked out a quick Facebook message to one handyman I know.
Just as I finished, a green Ford Expedition stops at the driveway.
“Are you throwing away this workbench?” a woman calls out.
“Giving it away!” I called back. “Do you want it?”
She and her husband hopped out and happily loaded up the one-of-a-kind table my son and I had built for his sleeping jewelry making hobby. “This is high, just how I want, ” he remarked.
“Say, would you like some other items, good for a handyperson?”
20 minutes later, Patrick and Violet are driving off, the happy owners of two boxes of miscellaneous useful things PLUS the vision of owning their “dream” house – this one!
They were drawn in by the spaciousness, the two levels, the private and natural backyard and the clothesline! “This is like being home in the Carribean.”
Things really got done in a big way yesterday! I splurged and hired Scott Barnaby to clear my backyard labyrinth. That made it easy to spread mulch on the beds! Wow! Now, it looks more inviting for a walk!
The other major accomplishment of the day was that my oldest son moved to his new apartment. It’s so great to watch our children doing adult things! He took charge of the whole project, and did it HIS way. He rented a U-Haul, loaded it up, with some help, drove off and got ‘er done! In the end, I was most touched by his offer to store some of my boxes of journals and photos – things I will want later but don’t necessarily want to haul with me now. “You’ve stored plenty of my things over the years. Now, I can do that for YOU”, he said. That lights me up!
I love the family pictures! Those kids were soooo cute! Still, all the photo albums are big and bulky. Do I have time to scan them all? Probably not, but I’m getting started anyway! To my good fortune, my friend, Vanessa, wants to help because she likes being in my little garden apartment space. So, that may be a great trade – ambiance for scanning!
OK! Let’s go this! She’s already gotten started with several dozen scanned photos on the hard drive.
Yes, those kids were sooo cute!