February 6,
Look what I’ve created:
Dispassionate sex. Silence. No sharing.
I wrote A marvelous fantasy. Taking responsibility for choosing what I have. The thought came, “what if I end this season april 15th?” There was an Invitation to Wildwood Magic Retreat. (There will be singing.) On may 7th.
How is it serving me to create a partner who is traumatized by my talking about my limiting beliefs? A partner who penetrates me while I am limp and unresponsive? With whom I meticulously avoid conversation and with whom I constantly wonder “how can I go from here to my fantasy?” I will not speculate. I will have my fantasy and strive to become it myself so my partner, whoever that is, can mirror it back!