How Do I Know I’ve Forgiven?

The other day, a client asked me this. My answer: When you can THANK the person you’re forgiving for giving you this opportunity to learn and grow.


You’re kidding, right?

No. I’m serious.

I’m also talking about Radical Forgiveness, which calls only for a tiny bit of willingness to be open to the possibility that from a spiritual perspective everything happens for a reason.


Yes, everything. We’re talking radical here.


And we’re talking about even the smallest, tiniest, littlest inkling of willingness to be the slightest bit open to the most minuscule possibility that this could have a remote possibility of healing and purpose from a spiritual perspective. There’s a lot of wiggle room here.

Well, maybe that’s possible.

You’re getting the idea! Just a tiny bit of willingness is all it takes to shift the energy of victim consciousness and start walking a path of awakening to our true power which is love. 

Hmmm. I’m not there yet.

Right. It’s a journey, I know.

But, you know? Even with what you’re saying now, I do feel a bit lighter and a bit freer from the anger and blame, a little more open that I can have some choice in my situation.

Yes! That’s all it takes- a little bit of willingness to start feeling the lightness of possibility. That’s the path of Radical Forgiveness. It’s a step-by-step journey. Baby steps are fine.

OK. So what’s the next step?

2 Replies to “How Do I Know I’ve Forgiven?”

  1. But what about when it involves a lot of people over a very long period of time? How do I know I don’t have a hidden grudge against someone? What if another person still causes the offence?

    What if you thought you forgave but when you see that person you’re filled with a lot of fear?

  2. Michelle,
    Sorry it’s been a while since you posted this! Your experience of latent or stuffed feelings is very common! I know just what you’re talking about. What I’ve learned with Radical Forgiveness is that we hold our emotions in our bodies, and often just mentally rationalize what we think is forgiveness, but haven’t cleared the memory from our physical body yet. Until we do, those feelings pop up like beach balls that we’ve been trying to hold down. How do we completely forgive? By using the tools of Radical Forgiveness that help us let go of the emotion physically formed in our bodies.

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