“I’m not doing a real business because I don’t have clear products and services or even feel comfortable inviting someone who is struggling with planning to talk with me. I lurk in someone else’s coaching circle, offering suggestions with no authority or compensation; I comment in the women’s hiking group, requesting fb friends, but don’t have my own group. And if I do share, I’ll do it wrong.I should have my own group but I don’t have time! I don’t know what to call it! Poor me! Dumb me! Unworthy me! Not doing this right me!”
Reality
My ex, three sons and baby grandson all got together this weekend – on the opposite shore of the country. I wasn’t there – and shouldn’t have been. At least, that’s what my current S.T.O.R.Y. (Sustained Tale Of Repressed Yearning) supports.
What a perfect situation for the steps of Radical Forgiveness: allowing my feelings to arise,
noticing my judgements, loving myself for having them, and being open to a new perspective.
That new perspective was suggested in a Satori Game that I played with a client a few days before the family visit.
Important Details
A dreaming Pacific Crest Trail hiker posed this question in a women’s hiking forum: “When & where will you start? how long have you been planning? Would you share some of your plans/knowlege… I’m so nervous I feel I will leave some important detail out.”
She’s touching on one of the Five Essentials in the Guiding Star for Radiant Hiking, and that’s TIMING. Timing is essential in many aspects of our fulfilling walks. When we consider our hike in our life, the timing in the seasons, the timing of each section, in our daily pace, and even in the timing of each step, we can fashion a walk that builds from the inside out, one that takes outer shape from our inner intention. Our hike becomes an expression of our purpose and our physical and spiritual rhythm.
Heartsinging Pace
I’ve weighed in on a thread started by a mom concerned that her daughter is discouraged on her Appalachian Trail hike. I found out that she’s walked over 200 miles in her first two weeks on the trail, starting in early March on Springer Mountain, Georgia. Here’s my response:
If that’s her heartsinging pace, then bravo. As a ridgerunner, listening to hundreds of hikers, I discovered that the happy, fulfilled hikers were those who found a personal pace that came from within, matching their own body’s comfort with their walk’s purpose. The unhappy, worn out ones were pushing themselves to “make miles” according to some formula they had heard from outside. The hike became something they felt forced to do, and many had something else they’d rather be doing. I believe there’s an inner purpose and pace that evokes a fulfilling, energizing, heartsinging walk! May hers be so! #singingheartwalk
Blame Game Blessings
I’m reminded this morning, having experienced a massive flow of people at the Visitor Center yesterday, of the value of letting those stuffed Emotional Beachballs from the past go BEFORE I am in tough situations. No one taught me that as a child, or even as a young adult, but I’m glad I know it now! Looking back, I see that the best I could do when upset was walk away without saying anything, without notice. Well, that seemed inappropriate, BUT, it sure was better than exploding, which is what could have happened (oh yes, I did that a few times too as the shattered dishes can attest).
Playing the Blame Game often, in
safe company to witness and validate my S.T.O.R.Y. with love, is what I know to do now, diffusing the stuffed energy from the past so the present is less intense. That way, the steam’s not all built up, ready to blow unexpectedly.
Buzz of Visioning
I’m in another world. It’s all in my imagination! I’m writing a letter for my partner, imagining him in a position that I think would be perfect for him!
It’s hard to concentrate on the details of the actual details of the reality I’m actually in right now. The energy buzz of imagining is strong – and distracting! Better than a movie because it’s composed in true feelings.
I realize that once I imagined and felt THIS situation when I applied for the job I got. The details that I could not imagine are now my physical reality.
This reminds me to rely on and trust the Creative Cycle, using it consciously to work with Spirit to build a fulfilling life.
Even Facebook reminds me that this cycle plays in my life with its “Four years ago today” memory.
What Affirmations Do
I’ve been using a set of affirmations that at first are all about what I want to receive from an imaginary partner. Surprisingly, what’s happening is that I’m the one BECOMING what I want to see in him and realizing that there are things to change in myself to RECEIVE a partner like that!
Life Layers
Reflecting on my walk in the Borrego Badlands, I was thinking that there’s a metaphor here. My life’s years pile up as the layers of the eons, varied and diversely composed. Shifts, upheavals, and movement create the beautiful picture that I see before me. Lacking the tumult, all would be static and flat. A Dynamic life is beautiful! Bring it on!
Projecting
What do I wish for? People in my life who thrive with transforming Stories. That’s my projection, my vision for myself. Oh sure, my community has its STORYs. We also get right to work on the steps of transforming them – feeling, flipping the switch, reframing, integrating. We laugh together at how good we are at creating situations for noticing our victim stories, then flow right into the 13 steps.
Nice vision, Regina!
Reconnect Journey: Why I’m Doing This
I talked with a woman in my hiking community who was sad that day that her daughter had stopped talking with her. She had poured out her story that since she had started going on long backpack trips, her daughter just didn’t seem to want to talk with her. And then, her daughter’s infant died. Her precious daughter, whom she wanted to comfort, refused her compassion, cutting her off from her other grandchildren.
My heart went out to her! I could hear the sadness, the guilt, the frustration, and the yearning to reconnect with her daughter.