What will it take to know myself as someone who confidently requests and receives money in exchange for my coaching? Today, I acknowledge my belief that I’m acting as if these statements are true: “It’s not ok to request payment for hiking consultation because others do it free.” AND “It’s silly to think that hiking coaching could be my real job! Ridgerunning is a real job, nature interpreting is a real job, but coaching while hiking can’t be a real job.”
An argument is wrangling inside me. There’s an actual physical tension in my belly. That’s the FEELING of fear and guilt attached to the thought, “Those other people who have written their books and created their films about their Appalachian Trail journeys are better than I. I have a wonderful personal story of transformation and love, but I haven’t written my story! I don’t deserve recognition or getting attention, and on and on….”
Well, today, I know that this is a S.T.O.R.Y. – a Sustained Tale Of Repressed Yearning, playing out for my learning and growing. And today, I know that I can love myself having this Story and take it into the Thirteen Steps. So, I’m off to do that! Perfect setup for NonSenses Immersion!
May 30, 2016
Today’s Nonsenses Immersion invited the blue energy to be expressed in a clearly defined form. “Let your message be clearly defined and communicated,” I discerned as I chanted the tones and painted the colors.
Yes!! I’m on it!
See for yourself and comment. What message rings out from my website? I’d love to hear what you get.
A friend sent a reframe of my Old Story “I was cheating on my husband while hiking”. Her words suggested this other perspective: “your marriage was cheating on you. You were being true to yourself.” I hadn’t thought of that before! From that angle, the shame can subside.
Heart’s green light flows today, from a self-loving center core out to the world.
I watched the video of Mary Poppins, followed by Saving Mr Banks which reveals the story of P.L. Travers’ journey to signing over the rights to her creation. It was a Radical Forgiveness journey. How? The author had a S.T.O.R.Y., a Sustained Tale of Repressed Yearning. Mary Poppins had been Mrs. Travers’ characterization of her childhood experience with her dad, Mary Poppins playing the role of magical rescuer and someone who set things right.
What I realized from Saving Mr Banks was that what it took to share Mary Poppins with the world through the eyes of Walt Disney was “finishing the story”. Allowing her dad to rise out of his prison, to find his joy AND be prosperous, let her share Mary Poppins with the world. Letting there be a New Story, set Mary Poppins free.
My Nonsenses Charging paintings the past two days have emerged with form! Usually, the colors alone in patches and washes satisfy my feelings for a color immersion. As I’ve been shifting my perspective of sharing HeartSingingWalk from secretively personal to universally integrated, I’m allowing sensory shape to become visible.
As I write this, especially those words “universally integrated”, I realize that this journey of consciousness is actually way bigger than my own life! What seems to me now to be a big transformation for me in my own life CAN go even beyond what I have been imagining, until now anyway. I have been fairly daunted with the vision of a tribe of a hundred embracing and integrating HeartSingingWalk in their lives. Suppose the true spirit of HeartSingingWalk is to reach even further than my community! How about thousands walking to Wild Wind and Senses Walk! Holy Moly! That knots my stomach!
I found my first ever blogpost on a wordpress.com site I had forgotten about! I thought I had lost that post, thinking it had been posted on my wordpress.org website. But, while commenting on a friend’s blog and having to sign in, I discovered MY blog! What’s even more interesting is that the sentiments revealed in that post mirror my current feelings about being visible in the world – even after seven years of growing into this new role.
What’s different is that NOW I am much more patient with the pace at which my transformation is occurring. I can see the growth that has taken place, and appreciate more and more just how monumental it is to transform deep limiting beliefs. I’m open to the idea that the beliefs that linger are the ones that contain my true purpose for life, and also are the source of my power and my niche. It’s the very people who recognize themselves in MY transformation who I am here to serve! The more I’m willing to SHARE my steps of evolving intentionally from a shy, invisible heartsinger into a joyously prosperous, dynamically visible and authentically transformed leader the more others on the same journey can see me as a model. Read this post from February, 2010 to see my mindset when I started my coaching business. Then, stay tuned for the continued tales of transformation!
What do I wish for? People in my life who thrive with transforming Stories. That’s my projection, my vision for myself. Oh sure, my community has its STORYs. We also get right to work on the steps of transforming them – feeling, flipping the switch, reframing, integrating. We laugh together at how good we are at creating situations for noticing our victim stories, then flow right into the 13 steps.
Nice vision, Regina!
“Dance” would be a great way to characterize what happened with the piano!
Following on the heels of my heart’s willingness to let the piano go, there appeared not just one, but TWO interested parties! The dance encompassed a group!
Things got a little complicated as my son and I were both taking offers from people, without communicating with each other. I was moving ahead with accepting an offer from a music teacher while he was waiting for his musician friend to make an offer. It came in – higher than mine! OOPS!
It’s 2:00 in the afternoon and my alarm song plays. The clear voice of my friend, Barbara, sings,
Wild Wind calls me to be braver, safer than I’ve ever been before”
At that moment, I understand why I might have needed a daytime nap!
I’ve been stretching outside my comfort zone! Stepping boldly into my dream and my calling, trying new things every day, creating a new life and new friends every day! Sometimes, like a new baby sleeping a lot because it’s growing a lot, I need to pull in and let the newness get integrated into my body!