How to Forgive
Even if we know that forgiveness is a good thing to do and has many benefits, how to do it isn’t so straightforward. I’ve searched for answers about this and found the following articles. The authors have lots of tips on how to forgive.
Look For the Positive
Protect Yourself and Move On
Get Help If You Need It
Benefits of Forgiveness
You would probably not argue that forgiving someone has benefits. What I’ve experienced has been more energy, better relationships, and freedom from my past. Here are some great articles on what other forgiveness experts say about the benefits of forgiveness.
And please add your list of benefits to the comments section!
To sum it up, forgiveness is good for your body, your relationships, and your place in the world. That’s reason enough to convince virtually anyone to do the work of letting go of anger and working on forgiveness.
False.Evidence.Appearing.Real dances onto my stage
I’m waking up for the second day in a row with a headache and stomach ache and “work on audio product” on my calendar. My first inclination is to stay in bed. I can do that because I’m the boss, right?
Wrong. I AM the boss, and the crew too, so there’s no one else to get the work done. And then the arguments start. “No one wants your stuff anyway. It’s not good enough. Just stay in bed and take care of yourself. It’s probably really a physical problem and you’re ignoring that.”
There sure is a lot going on in my life now! That seems true for several of my loved ones as well. How about for you? Is the summer winding down with paradigm shifting? It occurs to me to pay attention to my friends who look to the heavens for signs of cosmic patterns and shifts that weave the fabric upon which we’re painting our lives.
Deb Unterman brought one such insight in her invitation to play Clarity, her board game that playfully nudges inquisitive adventurers to consider the subtle influences of the invisible energies in our lives.
Today, I’m walking with my client, Mary, who has completed her training for her dream walk – 57 miles in Scotland! She has taken this journey one step at a time. Today, she’s walking 11 miles. Tomorrow, 16.
What does it take to walk into a dream? Small steps. Consistent steps. That’s the walk of creation.
It starts with a fantasy. That’s what a dream is. There’s nothing real about it! Absolutely nothing! It’s pure fantasy. Do you have fun fantasizing, or do you resist it because there’s nothing real about it? I invite you to take a different look at fantasizing and consider that all the great inventions started out that way. Dreams became plans. Plans become actions. Actions become reality.
I’m standing atop Springer Mountain, GA on a Sunday afternoon. It’s cloudy but not raining. I’m alone but for one other hiker, Mary. She is perched on the rock that marks the southern terminus of the iconic Appalachian Trail. What a perfect spot to celebrate a completion. Mary is rounding out her year-long training for a walk of 57miles in 5 days that begins in two weeks in Scotland. It’s the walk of her dream. Her adult son invited her two years ago to walk in Scotland, in the ancestral land of both his mother and his father. Today, Mary is walking 16 miles over rough terrain, including hundreds of feet of elevation gain and loss that mimics a similar day on the walk in Scotland. It’s a big day, even for seasoned hikers, including myself!
Using the ForgivenessWalks Tools is like Unclogging the Toilet
When the toilet is stopped up I don’t walk around wondering why, or blaming the toilet for getting clogged. I don’t say, “This shouldn’t be happening! Why did I ever think I wanted a toilet? Maybe since it’s not working, I should abandon toilets altogether. Maybe I’m just not cut out to have a toilet because mine is giving me trouble.” I don’t stop in my tracks and say, “If I were a better person, or a better homeowner, my toilet would not get clogged. Successful homeowners don’t get clogged toilets. Never have, never will.”
I love to walk! Those of you who know me would not be surprised to hear me confirm this. My day just hasn’t begun until I’ve walked. That’s why I am passionate about walking long distances in Nature, as on the Appalachian Trail. But why? Why walk? Why might I be so attracted to walking? For a while, I didn’t even try to answer this question. I just knew I had to walk!
Walking into my dream of “walking in service to others”, however, nudged me to research the questions, “what are the scientific benefits of walking?”
I want MY outcome to be like Jill’s in Jill’s Story! It’s the story of Jill, Colin Tipping’s sister, whose marriage is saved when she does Radical Forgiveness. I first read it seven years ago when my unhappy marriage was trapping me so much that I was willing to do something about it. Passionless and unexpressive and lacking the companionship I craved, I embarked on my journey with Radical Forgiveness. I did forgive myself and start living and expressing what makes my heart sing. But, for me, instead of getting closer, we drifted apart. Even though we both did worksheets and played Satori, we didn’t grow in love. Today, I’m sitting in a divorce attorney’s office, believing that our path to joy is through this process.