My Job is to MAKE Peace

October 15, 2019

Andrea Owen, in one of her Monday Kick Ass Quotes, shared the following:

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”
-Dalai Lama 

Here’s what she said about this quote:

“Quick reality check: Can’t change anything that’s already happened, so might as well make peace with it. Plus, the fastest way I know how to get happier about anything, is to make peace with it.
You don’t have to love it, or even like it. Just make peace.
Interesting quote today. About making peace. Just make peace.”

To my surprise, I noticed a visceral response to reading this. My belly tightened and I felt a stifling tightness all over.
“But how?” I wondered out loud. “How do I make peace?”

A memory flashed.
My mom and the nuns at school were always saying that. But they didn’t appear peaceful. They looked resigned and burdened to their lives, but not peaceful.

Fast forward to today. I’m so glad that now I actually have a way to MAKE peace. I have a method for doing it! I love methods! That gives me something to DO!  And, it doesn’t mean just sucking it up, stuffing down my feelings of blame, nothing like that, which is such a relief because I tried that for many years. I tried being stalwart and sacrificial like I thought my teachers were being. Didn’t work!

What I know now, from learning the tools of Radical Forgiveness taught by Colin and JoAnn Tipping is to be real!  Being real is to be honest about my true feelings and to learn to feel them! I spent a lot of my life stuffing down my feelings of hurt and sadness, confusion and anger – at my siblings for teasing me, at my teachers for shaming other kids, at adults in general for modeling resentment.

What I have now, are the easy and effective tools like The Thirteen Steps to Radical Forgiveness, one of my favorites to use while walking up a mountain! It starts with these words:

Step 1: Bring to mind the situation that is troubling you or has you in a state of upset.

It goes on in Step 2 to invite me to allow my feelings to arise, and even take time to cry if tears flow. Nothing like I used to hear my dad say, “Stop your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!”

The subsequent steps of the thirteen guide me through an inner journey that opens my heart to loving myself just as I am and that others might be giving me the opportunity to learn and grow because they could be reflecting something that I don’t love about myself.

I particularly like Step 8: Feel your heart opening to that part of you that you have rejected. Welcome it back. EBook mbrace it and love it unconditionally.

My childhood self melts with the compassion expressed here, and I can lean into the invitation in step 9 to be open to the idea that I’ve attracted others into my life to enable us both to let go of the Victim Archetype.

By Step 13, I am feeling peaceful!

I am grateful to Andrea for posting this quote, reminding me that I, indeed, now know that I have a method for making peace!

The Thirteen Steps and the handful of other effective tools for shifting energy from blame to gratitude, from hurt to peace and from any low vibration to a higher one, are all tools that I use when I’m creating my hiking journeys. In my book, [ book title here] I give plenty of examples of how shifting my victim energy has resulted in surprising things happening that I didn’t know were possible!

  • I got twenty helpers for my son’s care while hiking for a month
  • I turned a horrible road walk into a blissful campout in an ancient forest
  • I attracted a hiking partner when I needed one
  • I developed a whole new relationship of respect with my siblings
  • I recovered from my divorce free from shame
  • many more incidences of turning troubles into blessings

Get the book here!



Helping stifled souls love and express themselves fearlessly and walk into their dream.

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