I’m in another world. It’s all in my imagination! I’m writing a letter for my partner, imagining him in a position that I think would be perfect for him!
It’s hard to concentrate on the details of the actual details of the reality I’m actually in right now. The energy buzz of imagining is strong – and distracting! Better than a movie because it’s composed in true feelings.
I realize that once I imagined and felt THIS situation when I applied for the job I got. The details that I could not imagine are now my physical reality.
This reminds me to rely on and trust the Creative Cycle, using it consciously to work with Spirit to build a fulfilling life.
Even Facebook reminds me that this cycle plays in my life with its “Four years ago today” memory.
What Affirmations Do
I’ve been using a set of affirmations that at first are all about what I want to receive from an imaginary partner. Surprisingly, what’s happening is that I’m the one BECOMING what I want to see in him and realizing that there are things to change in myself to RECEIVE a partner like that!
Life Layers
Reflecting on my walk in the Borrego Badlands, I was thinking that there’s a metaphor here. My life’s years pile up as the layers of the eons, varied and diversely composed. Shifts, upheavals, and movement create the beautiful picture that I see before me. Lacking the tumult, all would be static and flat. A Dynamic life is beautiful! Bring it on!
My Story
Back from our weekend trip and getting ready for my 5-day-a-week job, which I love, and yet still want to keep only seasonally, I am in my S.T O.R.Y.
“My business gets in the way of my intimate relationship and my life. In order to DO my business, I have to live in wifi land and do that work alone.”
Then, when I realize this is a Sustained Tale Of Repressed Yearning (S.T.O.R.Y.), John gets into HIS story that he will always fail at showing that he loves me and he should just be alone to get to do the exploring he wants to do.
Projecting
What do I wish for? People in my life who thrive with transforming Stories. That’s my projection, my vision for myself. Oh sure, my community has its STORYs. We also get right to work on the steps of transforming them – feeling, flipping the switch, reframing, integrating. We laugh together at how good we are at creating situations for noticing our victim stories, then flow right into the 13 steps.
Nice vision, Regina!
What’s Your Story?
I’m just checking in with a last-minute invitation to
join me on my next journey.
You’ve been eager followers of my walks in the high mountains of Maine, the beaches of Hawaii, and the desert of southern California. I love sending pictures and lighting you up with images of Nature and stories of living outdoors, facing the weather, the rocks, the rushing streams, the cold – all for the sake of Beauty.
This journey that begins tomorrow, calls me even louder and more deeply than all those other walks. To many, my walks seem risky, dangerous and filled with courage. Perhaps that’s true, however, all that backpacking and sleeping out and carrying my food, and walking up high mountains seems like the easy part of my life!
Three Letters in Freedom
Here is an example of one of the tools I use to open up my heart to a New Story. It’s a technique I learned from Colin Tipping in his book, Radical Forgiveness, Chapter 24.
First Letter: VictimLand. Write this with all the angst and emotion you can muster, blaming the other person vehemently. Write out all your feelings in vitriolic language. DO NOT EVER CONSIDER SENDING THIS LETTER!
Second Letter: Willingness. On the next day, write this letter with some openness that perhaps there’s a lesson or blessing or new possibility you can see, BUT don’t let the other person off the hook for perpetrating your pain. DO NOT SEND THIS LETTER EITHER!
New Views in New Hampshire: FREEdom from my Past
SEPTEMBER 18, 2015. The trail section between Lincoln and Glenclif, NH is rich with significant memories! On my 2007 walk, it was in this 30 miles that I leaned in to my heart’s yearning for a partner. I longed for someone to share the physical difficulties of the trail and to celebrate meeting the challenges of traversing the White Mountains.
I enjoyed walking with “Hiker John”, finding his company comforting and fun. As the days went on, and communicating with my husband back at home seemed more and more difficult, I wanted a hug.
New Views in New Hampshire: Backpacker’s Wardrobe
I’m 350 miles along my way south of Mt. Katahdin and am celebrating a successful choice of clothing! For the first time yesterday morning I wore everything in my clothes bag except my extra socks. That was INSIDE the Lakes of the Clouds hut while we waited for breakfast. Outside, on the trail, I was warm and dry. I thought you might enjoy a peek at my “wardrobe”. A lightweight backpacker’s challenge is to balance weight with need. On this trip in the northern 600 miles of the Appalachian Trail during August and September, I considered possible cold mornings and evenings, some rain, and cool days. I gambled on my coldest, rainiest conditions being in The Presidential range where we would summit Mt. Washington, known as having the worst weather in the US.
New Views in New Hampshire: Brush with Quitting
SEPTEMBER 8.
I awoke out of my haze of confusion about just what was weighing me down, arguing in my mind, blinding me to the beauty surrounding me, stabbing my knees with pain. It was one of those Old Stories bubbling up to be felt and acknowledged – and transformed! I had embarked on this two month journey on the Appalachian Trail to use walking in Nature to clarify my relationship with my hiking partner. Wasn’t THIS a pivotal moment in that intention?!!
The past twenty miles had been hard! In fact, this section is often viewed as the hardest of the entire Appalachian Trail. Between Gorham and Pinkham Notch NH, the trail crept up and down the four peaks of Carter Mountain and the five peaks of Wildcat Mountain. Even though the trail started gently out of Gorham, it was equally paved with steep slopes of smooth rock faces and rugged rocky stair steps that seemed a few inches higher than my legs easily reached.