New Views in New Hampshire: FREEdom from my Past

SEPTEMBER 18, 2015. The trail section between Lincoln and Glenclif, NH is rich with significant memories! On my 2007 walk, it was in this 30 miles that I leaned in to my heart’s yearning for a partner. I longed for someone to share the physical difficulties of the trail and to celebrate meeting the challenges of traversing the White Mountains.

I enjoyed walking with “Hiker John”, finding his company comforting and fun. As the days went on, and communicating with my husband back at home seemed more and more difficult, I wanted a hug.

Just past the road to Lincoln, as we lay on our mats ready for sleep, I asked him to hold me. I slept deeply that night, my body surrendering to his strength. The next morning, I bounded up the mountain, boldly standing under one of the waterfalls at the base of Moosilauke Mtn. New life and excitement lit me up!

This time, I couldn’t pick out which falls that was! They ALL looked dangerous. I must have been feeling bold then!

This time, I felt the guilt of having betrayed my husband, the shame of having created the illusion that the hiking world and the home world were separate and non-intersecting, with their own realities. Those feelings started gnawing at me as I stepped up each successive pitch on the trail next to the cascade.

“STOP!” cried an inner voice. “You have cleared your life of that obligation to your husband. You admitted your guilt, accepted his judgment, handled an amicable divorce, and rebuilt financial and emotional security. You are FREE of that past! You may now celebrate THIS relationship!”

I reviewed the words of Jane Holmes, my teacher at the Living Foods Institute:

“The past has no power over you!”

I continued my climb, stepping into this new view of Moosilauke Mtn., now my beacon of new possibilities of relating, not out of my past but from my heart and into the future!

In 2007, I walked out of Glenclif alone, afraid to surrender to a budding relationship. Today, I’ll walk out WITH my hiking partner, envisioning our future, free to create OUR partnership.

ALL looked dangerous!

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