It’s three years today that an unknown judge signed my official divorce papers. On that day, I was moving to Virginia for my summer job and my ex was working in China as he had been for the entire previous year. Neither of us were aware that April 9, 2013 was our divorce day. I found out in an email from my attorney a few days later.
But I’ve been thinking about it this week as I delve into my new life. I could celebrate! That seems contrary to the usual view of divorce! Inwardly, though, I am content for that step. It was an honorable way to complete a dead relationship, one that neither of us could revive.
Today, I’m actually doing well! My biggest fear of divorce was poverty. The opposite is my new reality. Selling the family house and tapping into an adequate IRA gave me generous monthly funds to add to seasonal job income. The two seasonal jobs I’ve had have been lifetime favorite “dream jobs” in beautiful outdoor places!
My new beau, whose appearance in my life hastened the end of my marriage, has been a loyal, supportive partner. Although I can see that I can easily create the same issues with him as I did with my ex, I catch myself more often and see how this relationship can be a healing and growing one.
I’m quietly celebrating this calm joy for my heart. I have great respect and compassion for my ex, wishing him well with his new wife. Perhaps someday we can stand together again in honor of each other. For today, I’ll be content with a calm heart in quiet celebration.
-Regina Reiter
Certified Radical Forgiveness Coach
