Among the many questions in my new nomadic life is this one: Do I remain solo?
Ironically, what motivated my wusband to go through with divorce was my partnering with another man in my hikes. Now that I am legally single, however, partnering seems daunting.
In choosing a life partner, there’s potential sharing of big items like a car, a house, phone service, even bank accounts.
When I married at twenty-five, with a small bank account, no home, no job, and a low-valued car, it was easy to join up with my lover and move into the house he bought and start working on it. We stepped right into those traditional roles of breadwinner and homemaker without thought of financial parity. In the divorce, he would have gladly sent away with the same dependent amount, except that even he had to agree that there was monetary value in my 30 years of childrearing, home remodeling, food prep, and landscaping.
Now, I want to continue hiking with my hiking partner, but I’m not so sure about marrying. It’s easy to share camping gear and food. But, as his car breaks down and is headed for the recycling yard, does he just hop into my vehicle?
Neither of us owns a home now, but he has an invitation to live in his sister’s house for the winter. Do I go there too?
Perhaps at the root of these questions is that of marriage, and even deeper, the question of financial parity in any partnership. Perhaps the two of us would benefit from a conscious and contractual arrangement even if it’s not a marriage.
It’s new territory for me that I want to explore with awareness and empowered choice!