December 17, 2017
My role in my family is unclear. I’m making this up as I go. I am a lone grandmother. I miss John Reiter just because he should be with me because we were married. I miss the security of our former finances. We could be traveling and visiting grandchildren as retirees. But that’s a fantasy because he wants to work and not be with me because of who I am and never should have married me, so we are both lone grandparents. Besides, it’s not my business to know what he’s thinking unless he wants to tell me. I wish I had stood up for myself and our marriage more staunchly, but then I wouldn’t have done my fulfilling walks and felt loved and done my fulfilling jobs. We would have divorced anyway. My lessons in this lifetime are about shame, sexuality, personal responsibility, among others.
Forgivenesswalks is waiting for me to step up and do the work. I feel alone in that too. No one else is doing forgivenesswalks right now although there are a few women who might be attracted to sharing it.
How could my experience in Creative Business Studio be more fulfilling and work in my current life?
What would my life look and feel like if I could easily blend family with forgivenesswalks and I was feeling whole and complete in my work and relationships? What if I didn’t yearn for partnership, collaboration, balance, meaning, clear plans, all the qualities I judge lacking? What if I were truly independent, had easily changing energy and focus, flexible needs and the ability to flow in whatever situation occurred? What if money flowed easily in my life and I could work in and on forgivenesswalks whenever it was easy, in spontaneous bursts, and what if it worked through spontaneous, day-to-day, stream of consciousness posts and emails which helped people so much they happily sent me money for my coaching, mainly in regular monthly payments that all added up to $3412 a month? What if I could be wherever I wanted, with family or hiking or resting or doing nature programs, with transportation, meals, accommodations easily provided and paid for? What if could dedicate as little as couple of hours each day creating, writing, communicating to generate clients and have delightfully scheduled walks, hikes, retreats, workshops, circles during easily fulfilled times? What if various coaches’ programs felt in sync, inexpensive, and delightfully collaborative and creative, like I was really in a community of supportive businesspeople who collaborated with forgivenesswalks? What would that look like?
Am I willing to have a life like that