Flexibility

May 1, 2017

I notice this morning that my awareness of my body and my quandary about physical fitness and energy occur as my authentic life. Preparing to participate in Steve’s memorial service amid the Park community occur as tangential occupation. My view is that the Park community is a superficial one, where I act, not where I share deeply, live authentically, reveal my true feelings, forge nourishing friendships. I have integrated Kathy’s admonishment that I shun the Park community as clients, revealing only my skills and interests in park interpretation, not Radical Forgiveness. So, I haven’t. And, just as in other times and venues, my full expression is diluted, and I keep my relationships shallow and pleasant. I go to the memorial as a support person, an observer. 

I wonder now, having observed this, if I’m making it up that authentic sharing of my worldview and feelings is prohibited. Maybe it would actually be better to share space for Satori or painting or Touch for Health. Saying “yes” to that conjurs up a list of “yeah buts”. Hmm. That’s a good clue that the construct could just be mine, keeping me safe!

Later- guess what? I felt integral, connected, understood, and vital to the Park community, notably Eli’s family. Nobody knew how to be, how to understand. All of us are baffled, saddened, mystified by Steve’s passing! I’m right there in the group with everyone else!

Posted in Community, Partnership Journey.

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