What an interesting occurrence! This morning when I immersed myself in my nonsensory energy through sensory tones and colors, I felt drawn to linger, to truly immerse myself in the security and familiarity of the exercise, the vitality of the colors. Is that a characteristic of being 23 days into this practice?
Or that today I really needed the balance and vibrance? As the day unfolded, I succumbed to uncomfortable physical symptoms of headache and nausea, that got worse at work.
I’ve come to recognize these symptoms as my manifestation of suppressed emotions. I was upset and stuffing the feelings. Although I haven’t mastered the art of avoiding the syndrome, I’m willing to acknowledge the emotional nature of it. This time, I caught on early and rearranged the day to go home and rest.
This time, my selfcare also includes using an energy shifting tool that helps me identify which emotion is there and clear it. It’s called the Behavioral Barometer, and I’ll have to post the source later.
Although I hadn’t realized just how much I was suppressing the emotions of the past few days, there have actually been several sources of feelings. I guess it all built up. Perhaps the most significant is that today was the new ridgerunner’s meeting with the trail partners. And I wasn’t there! For the past six years I was the one kicking off the season with that meeting. This year, I’m choosing something else. I’m confident about my choice and didn’t realize there was some grieving needed to move on! On top of that, I had offered to call in and join by phone and got no response from the organizers – the people who had praised my work so grandly and even offered to pay me to orient the new guy! Seems that I really was upset and not actually feeling neutral about it!
Which emotions came up to be cleared? Longing. Feeling incurable. Feeling unacceptable. Feeling abandoned. The Emotional Barometer suggests healing feelings. Mine are Decisive. At peace. Intent. Calm. Purposeful.
This is a useful tool for me, a habitual stuffer of feelings that become symptoms. I’m willing to love myself just as I am and be grateful to have this tool to clear these emotions when the symptoms are minor headaches and stomach troubles. Perhaps, they won’t get stuffed into the deep recesses of organs to become cancer…….
I allowed myself a second NonSensory Immersion, building from the same painting as this morning. I experienced richer, deeper patches of color, more texture, and physical sensations in the corresponding areas of my body.
I rounded out the session, luxuriously long, with a closed-eye meditation with the tones. A thought that rose was this: “Perhaps grieving the closure of my Ridgerunning period flows into the resistance to a New Phase!”
Choosing something different than Ridgerunning begs the question, “What?” I’ve been anwering that with “Expand Forgivenesswalks!” Yet, THAT choice has me becoming something I have yet to understand, to know in my habits, in my sensory reality! Perhaps THAT uncertainty is a source of physical symptoms as well.
With that realization, I could now claim that I am open to knowing myself as the businesswoman creating a community of HeartSinging Walk journeyers who are eagerly investing in themselves, courageously immersing themselves in song, sensory awakening, nonsensory charging, and the Thirteen Steps.
They are feeling their feelings, loving themselves just as they are, and imagining new perspectives and possibilities for their walks, dreams, journeys they had never done before. They feel radiant, alive, calm, open to a new sense of wellbeing that emboldens their steps with new clarity and self confidence.
That is what I imagine and receive for myself!
I would love to chat with you about what resonates with YOU in my exploration today!
Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
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Thanks for journeying with me!