Heartsinging Pace

I’ve weighed in on a thread started by a mom concerned that her daughter is discouraged on her Appalachian Trail hike. I found out that she’s walked over 200 miles in her first two weeks on the trail, starting in early March on Springer Mountain, Georgia. Here’s my response:
If that’s her heartsinging pace, then bravo. As a ridgerunner, listening to hundreds of hikers, I discovered that the happy, fulfilled hikers were those who found a personal pace that came from within, matching their own body’s comfort with their walk’s purpose. The unhappy, worn out ones were pushing themselves to “make miles” according to some formula they had heard from outside. The hike became something they felt forced  to do, and many had something else they’d rather be doing. I believe there’s an inner purpose and pace that evokes a fulfilling, energizing, heartsinging walk! May hers be so! #singingheartwalk

Blame Game Blessings

I’m reminded this morning, having experienced a massive flow of people at the Visitor Center yesterday, of the value of letting those stuffed Emotional Beachballs from the past go BEFORE I am in tough situations. No one taught me that as a child, or even as a young adult, but I’m glad I know it now! Looking back, I see that the best I could do when upset was walk away without saying anything, without notice. Well, that seemed inappropriate, BUT, it sure was better than exploding, which is what could have happened (oh yes, I did that a few times too as the shattered dishes can attest).
Playing the Blame Game often, in
safe company to witness and validate my S.T.O.R.Y. with love, is what I know to do now, diffusing the stuffed energy from the past so the present is less intense. That way, the steam’s not all built up, ready to blow unexpectedly.

Still, I love myself – and others- just as we are, learning and growing in our human experience.

Buzz of Visioning

I’m in another world. It’s all in my imagination! I’m writing a letter for my partner, imagining him in a position that I think would be perfect for him!
It’s hard to concentrate on the details of the actual details of the reality I’m actually in right now. The energy buzz of imagining is strong – and distracting! Better than a movie because it’s composed  in true feelings.
I realize that once I imagined and felt THIS situation when I applied for the job I got. The details that I could not imagine are now my physical reality.
This reminds me to rely on and trust the Creative Cycle, using it consciously to work with Spirit to build a fulfilling life.
Even Facebook reminds me that this cycle plays in my life with its “Four years ago today” memory.

What Affirmations Do

I’ve been using a set of affirmations that at first are all about what I want to receive from an imaginary partner. Surprisingly, what’s happening is that I’m the one BECOMING what I want to see in him and realizing that there are things to change in myself to RECEIVE a partner like that!

Projecting

What do I wish for? People in my life who thrive with transforming Stories. That’s my projection, my vision for myself. Oh sure, my community has its STORYs. We also get right to work on the steps of transforming them – feeling, flipping the switch, reframing, integrating. We laugh together at how good we are at creating situations for noticing our victim stories, then flow right into the 13 steps.

Nice vision, Regina!

Three Letters in Freedom

 Here is an example of one of the tools I use to open up my heart to a New Story. It’s a technique I learned from Colin Tipping in his book, Radical Forgiveness, Chapter 24.

First Letter: VictimLand. Write this with all the angst and emotion you can muster, blaming the other person vehemently. Write out all your feelings in vitriolic language. DO NOT EVER CONSIDER SENDING THIS LETTER!

Second Letter: Willingness. On the next day, write this letter with some openness that perhaps there’s a lesson or blessing or new possibility you can see, BUT don’t let the other person off the hook for perpetrating your pain. DO NOT SEND THIS LETTER EITHER!

Third Letter: Reframe. On the third day, write this letter describing how you are now open the possibility that this happened for a reason and that in a Spiritual sense, or in the big picture, the other person did nothing wrong. You may even thank them for coming into your life to do this healing dance with you. End with gratitude to them, to yourself, and to Source.

THIS LETTER MAY BE SHARED WITH SOMEONE WHO IS FAMILIAR WITH THIS PROCESS.

Integration: You may want to take a walk, soak in an epsom salt bath, dance, get a massage, or other way you have to move the old pattern out of your body and set a new pattern into it.

Coaching: As with any new process, be generous with yourself and lean into the assistance of a neutral friend or experienced coach. You may send your letters to me, Regina Reiter, certified Radical Forgiveness Coach at regina@forgivenesswalks.com I’ll read and support you in this process for one complimentary session.

Now, here’s my stuff!

First letter. Feel the victimhood and tell the story. Blame others for my suffering and not being responsible for it myself.

My Story:

I posted something about myself being successful at hiking prosperously and now offering to share my methods of success in the women’s hiking forum. Barbie, administrator said, “Be clear that this is a business and that you are advertising.” I feel scared, ashamed, afraid of rocking the boat, of being kicked out. I wanted to run away, to lash back at her, to retract my post, to resent her and quit right then and there, cancel my class!!! I always do things wrong!!!! I’m NOT doing business because I don’t even charge enough to do this full time and I have to have another job and even though that’s a good job and I get to be outside and do nature interpretation, it’s not HIKING and COACHING WHILE HIKING AND ABOUT HIKING which would be what I really want to do. But, Barbie, the great administrator Barbie, says I’m doing business, ohhhhhh, I did it all wrong!!

I told Myra, who helped me with the words I was not willing to say:

Myra, please help me respond to Barbie. She said, “Barbie can be a bully sometimes. She just needs to be in control. “ She also posted something, taking a stand for me: “Regina has offered so much for free and has an evolving business. Why not ASK her if she’s advertising.”

I walked a long way – for an hour at least, on the Arizona Trail, in the full moonlight with no headlamp, not speaking to Bob who was challenging me with another version of the story that HIKING and COACHING WHILE HIKING AND ABOUT HIKING prevents me from accomplishing my own hikes, so that means I am not really a hiker, I’m a non-hiker coaching other people to fulfill THEIR dreams, but I’m not fulfilling MY dream, I’m WORKING instead. I’m walking on the Arizona Trail in the moonlight thinking, “OK! So wait ’til you see what hikes I plan!! It will be so stupid to get married because I will be hiking all the time and you will never catch up with me or plan the same hikes with me so I should just be ALONE!!!

Barbie and Bob you are BOTH evil and bad and getting in my way and making me WRONG and oh I will NEVER get this right, this doing what I really want to do and having that be helpful to others which is what I’m SUPPOSED to be doing to do REAL WORK which is what my dad said I wasn’t doing when I was 20! AAAARGH!!!! I will never get this right!

Second letter: Open to the idea that there could be a spiritual reason for this event, but not letting the others off the hook.

So, Barbie, I can see your point that I’m saying that I have something to offer that’s valuable and if you want it you can contact me. I was TRYING to make it look like I was just talking about myself but I can see that you call that doing business and advertising. I did send you an actual invitation from my event page so you do know that I have a business even though I didn’t use my business name on the post. So, you might be right that I should have contacted you and had you put my information in the files. BUT! HOW IS ANYONE EVER SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT ABOUT SERVICES – REAL VALUABLE SERVICES THAT COULD HELP WOMEN DO THEIR HIKES – IF IT’S HIDDEN AWAY IN THE FILES SECTION!!! THE FILES SECTION!!! That’s my whole problem in doing this business, that my stuff is hidden away in disorganization, vagueness, sparseness, and smallness! I’ll never make a difference for people if they don’t know I’m doing this! But, you’re right, that I didn’t follow your rules for posting to this particular group.

Bob, I can see that you are trying to create a win-win scenario for us as a couple, balancing both of our choices for hiking and communicating online. I can see that, but I’M STILL FEELING REALLY GUILTY AND ASHAMED FOR NOT PLANNING MY OWN HIKES. BUT IT WON’T WORK IF WE ARE BOTH PLANNING HIKES BECAUSE I ALREADY TRIED THAT WHEN I FIRST STARTED MY BUSINESS AND NONE OF THEM FIT WITH YOUR HIKES!!! You see, even if we TRY to work together, it will not work!!! So, I’m going to just keep walking on this Arizona Trail in the dark in the moonlight without any water, so there!!!

Third Letter: Open to seeing a spiritual purpose in this event and others as healing angels.

Barbie and Bob,

I’ve been sleeping on this to allow my higher self to work on this issue that you’ve raised. I was so rattled by your response to my post. I thought I had made it an invitation for women who resonated with my story to contact me outside the group because the group is not for businesses to hawk services. I was posting there to practice my voice, to find out if others resonated with the yearning to be prosperous as AT hikers, to relate with hiking the AT as more than a faraway, financially distant dream that has more reasons against it than for it. Do others in this group yearn to walk the AT but stop short of fulfilling that dream because they can’t take time off from the ever present requirement to earn money doing something that’s the opposite of hiking? Does anyone else here ever say, “I wish I could just hike whenever I want. Why can’t hiking be a real job? Why must I keep putting off my dream of having the time, the money, the support, the knowledge, the emotional and physical and spiritual stamina to walk from Maine to Georgia all in one journey or in pieces?”

I was taking the chance to do more than comment on others’ posts or share victory photos of my own hikes. What I realize now is that what I was doing was COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET! I was sharing in a veiled, indirect way that I have something useful and valuable to offer women to help them succeed in their hikes. I thought I was doing it carefully, indirectly, graciously, suggestively, nonspecifically. BUT, I GOT BUSTED FOR GOING AGAINST THE RULES! You busted me for posting as a BUSINESS (shudder…..evil…..nooooooh) and that for advertising (even greater evil…….run away//////).

My first reaction was to yank off the post, maybe drop out, maybe write a nasty response before running away. But, I had just a few hours earlier invested in some coaching myself (valued at about three times what I am asking for my own coaching. Hmm. Pretty destructive business strategy) in which Jennifer guided me to breathe into my fears, doubts, and misconceptions, opening my heart to give……and receive value for the lessons I have learned by successfully challenging the assumptions, the reasons, the excuses for NOT walking from Maine to Georgia. Business? It will take quite a bit of cash to recoup the cost of my thru-hike from what I have charged for sharing!

But, what I realized is that YOU perceive me as a hiker who earns her living hiking! YOU perceive what I do – support, guide, share skills about claiming our dreams of hiking the AT – as a REAL JOB! For me, that’s something to celebrate!!!!

I got busted for showing up as a hiker who has the job of hiking, earning money, and working for real as a hiker!!! Why is that something to celebrate?? Because for decades – literally four of them since my dad first said, “when are you going to get a real job?” when I was working as a program director at an outdoor education center – I discounted my value as an outdoorswoman, believing that walking in Nature could not be a “real” job. I’ve invested over $30,000 in workshops, trainings, and coaching to uncover my “real” work, my heartsinging occupation, my purpose for being here in this lifetime. I’ve done the “real” work of peeling away the misperceptions, the fears, the doubts about the value of walking in Nature. I’ve gone through getting fired from an ill-fitting job, divorce, selling my house, living seasonally in jobs on opposite sides of the country, and having my mom’s house be my address at age 60. I wouldn’t trade any of it because all of those apparent traumas, difficulties, embarassments were really blessings, clearing my path for my true spiritual work – walking in Nature, enticing others to come outside where they can feel the radiance, joy, and fufillment of moving between heaven and earth. You say that’s a business and offering to share the skills to get there is advertising and that’s not allowed here in this safe and sacred space where we are supporting each other fulfilling the dream of walking the path where my learning occurred. The way I’ve done that, Barbie, is to put VALUE on what it takes to not just fight and struggle to fulfill that dream, but to THRIVE by actually LIVING the dream!

So, thanks for busting my story, Barbie.

I proclaim it! I, Regina, AM a Business Owner and I am offering all of you my service, my knowledge, my experience, my guidance and coaching to help YOU fulfill the valuable dream of walking the Appalachian Trail in your own unique way. I recognize and acknowledge and authentically share that providing this service relies on me being able to attend to my own needs of life so I expect you to invest your own energy value to make use of it. As you know, the common token of value in our culture is dollars, so that’s one of the forms of energy I work with in providing the value of my experience, knowledge, and guidance. That works.

So, Barbie, thank you for calling me OUT of my sheepish ways of hiding my true purpose of doing the real job of helping women walk into their dream of hiking the AT. Put me back in the Files section with the other evil businesswomen who dare to request others to invest value for their products services instead of hanging out a sign, proudly doing REAL work. What a great day to celebrate! I’M OUT!!!!!

And Bob, I’m open to listening to how we can work, love, enjoy and BE together, balancing, creating, listening, putting BOTH of our needs and choices on the planning board, boldly claiming the value of my services AND scheduling my own – our own – walks to rejuvenate, challenge, train, and sustain our connections with trails and the continuing challenges and blessings of journeying. I love you and want to be a married life partner with you in a fulfilling marriage.

I now see that both Barbie and Bob came into my life at just the right time to mirror for me that part of me that I have denied and kept hidden, that part of me that is doing worldly work for a spiritual purpose, modeling for others and sharing the skills of blending walking in Nature with prosperous living. I now open my heart to them and to myself and thank them for being my healing angels.

Integration: I read this to my partner who practices these tools with me regularly. Then, we walked through an arboretum. Guess what was in the arboretum? A Labyrinth! That’s a winding pathway to integrate and shift a question at the spiritual level. Perfect!

Results: What I noticed first of all after writing these letters was my willingness to talk with Bob and make a new plan. During the morning, several lighthearted discussions of places we wanted to go together emerged. At the end of our walk, we visited the gift shop. My eye caught a big, thick book called Arboretums of the World. I said, “Look! Here’s my agenda for places I want to visit!” We laughed, realizing that setting goals COULD be fun, and there’s nothing I had to prove to receive his love.

As for Barbie and my post, so far, a day later there are 42 “Likes” and I’ve gained about 10 new friends, four of whom I am having conversations, building new relationships. None of them seem to mind what I wrote and give me more wonderful women to share with! I’m so glad I did this letter writing process!

There’s more! Bob started talking about trips to complete his 50 state highpoints goal – climbing Denali, Mt. Hood, and Mt. Rainier! Those hikes require hiring a guide! As he talked, the $16,000 fee for climbing Denali for 3 weeks sounded possible. Climbing Mt. Hood for a mere $1200 seems easy! Joyous Prosperity fills my life!

Journey’s End A New Beginning

When I was completing my Appalachian Trail Walk in 2007, my husband and son came and walked the last mile with me. What an honor! Having them with me to round out the journey validated my accomplishment and helped magnify their contribution to the entire walk. My husband had sent maildrops all along the way. His presence at the end signified that my journey had ended and that I would be going back to my former life. My 7-month walk had been an exploration into another world where my joy as a hiker was reflected in my relationship with a new partner. I believed that my hiking world was separate from my homemaking world.

And then, I let the two worlds blend. My hiking partner came home with us. My heart was torn, and try as I might to let him go and return to my former life, I couldn’t do it. I could not abandon my love for my new self nor for my new partner. I could not revive my love for my urban, homebound life nor for my husband who cared nothing for my adventurous self.

As I tell this story, my belly tightens, and shame for the messy way I mixed up those relationships paralyzes my fingers. “I can’t share this! This is a shameful tale! I made a terrible mistake and betrayed my marriage! It’s unforgiveable what I did!”

Continue reading

Surrounding ourselves with Roses!

 

Create an Energy Rose

Rose

I’ve been indulging in fields of roses this week in the third week of Journey to YOUR HeartLand: STORIES. Mine are always Pink, a deep “rose” pink. The best part is that they are absolutely free! And I can have as many as I want, fragrance and all!

These are Energy Roses that I create in my imagination to catch any low vibrations or “negative” energy coming from others, from dangerous situations, or even from myself!  When I surround myself with Roses, there’s more Light and Love shining.

One Journeywoman reported that she had surrounded her entire camper with 5-foot wide velvet red roses while camping in a secluded area. She felt safe from the “monsters” she usually conjours up in the dark.

I put roses between me and my partner as we’re working through next steps in our relationship. Roses catch my fears and doubts about offering new programs in my business. Roses soften the conversations with my mom.

When might an Energy Rose be helpful in your journey?

Notice when there seem to be unsettled or confrontational or unpleasant vibrations between you and another and use this quick and easy Rose Meditation to filter them out.



We’re rounding the last bend in the current Journey to YOUR HeartLand: STORIES class, a four-week teleclass journey from VictimLand to Freedom. You can still walk along with us even if you’re just joining our group!

  • Discern your Old Story of Sabotage
  • Experience Feelings as a Gateway to Power
  • Flip the Energy Drain Switch
  • Create a New Story of Freedom, Vitality, and Fulfillment

Journey to YOUR HeartLand: STORIES 

Let’s Meet at the Next Trailhead

The journey that I’m on now has a name – Journey to the HeartLand – for its significance in my life. I thought that this one would be different than other trail walks I have done. Wouldn’t an off-trail journey be different than a month on the Benton MacKaye Trail or on the Appalachian Trail?

What I’m discovering is that this journey has the same essentials for success as a walk on a physical trail.

  • Know the trail – I’ve got the road map for our class topics
  • Consider the timing – Well, 7 a.m. might be a little early for some participants!
  • Love my gear – I’ve had technology challenges that I’m stepping through one at a time.
  • Have support – Thanks to my friends who are sharing their home, my partner, my sister, and the participants themselves for their understanding and flexibility while we get our journey underway.
  • Have tools for shifting emotional energy – Well, that’s what this journey is all about! What I’m teaching in this course are the exact tools I’m using to navigate the journey myself! Perfect!

During our first week, we’ve been looking at our “Stories”. Stories are those emotion-laden, repeating patterns that seem to happen over and over again in our lives. They usually have a consistent disempowering “story line”. In addition, our biggest Stories are ones we have been playing out unconsciously – until now! Now, we’re awake to their insidious repetition and we’re tired of their presence. We want to get rid of them, but don’t know how!!!
That’s what Journey to YOUR HeartLand is all about! We’re taking a loving and safe look at these stories and walking step-by-step into a New Story of vibrance, creativity, and fulfillment.

Here’s what journeyers are saying:

“Please find attached a brief summary of my story. Thank you for what you do!”

“Hello and thank you for responding to “my story”. I have rewritten it and feel a lot better. Thank you for the suggestions you made and I believe this journey is for me!”

“You make me smile! I just love you and don’t even know you!”

We’re only missing YOU!  You can jump in now and get the same results. It’s just like a walk on the Appalachian Trail. You can start anywhere on the path and be filled up with the wonders of that iconic trail!  “Hike your own hike” is a perfect saying for a journey to your heart as well as a trail walk.

Get the details here:

Journey to YOUR HeartLand: STORIES

What’s calling me to this journey is the chance for sharing my heart so much with you that all the self love, the claiming of my passion, the letting go of unnecessary things, relationships, and ways of being that it has taken to invent my life of adventure rubs off on you. It’s easy to go on walks myself or with my beloved hiking partner!
But, what I really want to do is entice you to look at your own limiting stories and love yourself in those stories enough to choose whether you want them or not. I want to be with you when you bravely touch into the buried feelings and let the tears flow to wash away that stuck energy. I want to walk with you as you step through the gateway of willingness to see that this might be happening for a higher purpose.

Why?

So you can feel the lightness, the joy, the inner glow, the rush of magic and miracles all around you that come from telling your story, feeling the feelings, switching off the energy flow to those old stories, noticing a new story, and integrating that into your body.

Why is that important?

Because then you can claim your own vibrant dream, your own fulfilling relationship, your own passionate purpose. And that’s what I really want for you!  And I believe I can guide you on that journey!
Here are the details of the journey:

Journey to YOUR HeartLand: STORIES

Not sure this is for you?

Do you recognize any of these stories in your life?

I don’t want to rehash the past or go deep into my feelings, just enjoy myself.
I’m overweight and not attractive.
Intimacy is hard for me.
I don’t like myself when I’m mean and angry. I shouldn’t be that way!
I feel lost in my life and nothing seems to be working.
My family doesn’t love me.
I yearn for more, yet force the taste out of my mouth in resignation and fear.
I feel uncomfortable in my own skin and don’t know how to cultivate true love for me.
I am surviving, but I want to thrive, yet I’m at a standstill, living half-heartedly.
I’ve birthed a baby and that was a most magical thing. Now, if I could only birth my own life!
I’m convincing myself to stay in a desolate relationship because I don’t know any other way and I surely don’t want to be alone!
At this stage of my life I just don’t want to change things!

In Journey to YOUR HeartLand: STORIES

We’ll take a look,
with ease and grace and lots of compassion
,
at how those stories play out in your life. Not to say they’re wrong or you’re wrong, or you’ve screwed up to have them.
No! We’ll look at them to acknowledge that we all have a story that gives us the chance to feel separate from our fulfillment, just because that’s what we humans do!
Then using some really simple tools that are actually fun to use, we’ll play around with New Stories that we might actually like better and try them out and see what happens!
Chances are, you’ll feel lighter and happier and more creative with your New Stories, which is why I love

Journey to YOUR HeartLand

In joy,
Regina

Here’s to you and YOUR Journey!
Drop me a line and tell me about it today!

Piano Dance Act Two

“Dance” would be a great way to characterize what happened with the piano!

Following on the heels of my heart’s willingness to let the piano go, there appeared not just one, but TWO interested parties! The dance encompassed a group!

Things got a little complicated as my son and I were both taking offers from people, without communicating with each other. I was moving ahead with accepting an offer from a music teacher while he was waiting for his musician friend to make an offer. It came in – higher than mine! OOPS!

I was stepping on some toes and ignoring a worthy dance partner!

I made a few phone calls, restored the balance, allowed everyone to dance. The high bid was made and received and the dance concluded with a bow.

Today, the piano will have a new home with a musician who wants to pour her love into her music! And my heart is happy with the memories of family music shared AND the freedom to move unfettered into a new phase.

What a story!
I believe its happy ending came largely from my willingness to feel my feelings, and let them be a signal that I was stuck in my past.  When I let my heart open, love and abundance flowed inside and out!

Do you want more abundance, joy,and success in your life?
What about relationships that flow with ease, grace, and clear communication?

Join me in Journey to YOUR HeartLand, a four-week telecourse

  • Love yourself just as you are
  • Discover how you’ve kept love and abundance stuck
  • See situations as healing dances you can coreograph!

Click here for the simple details!

Journey to YOUR HeartLand:STORIES