Unworthiness Challenged

An argument is wrangling inside me. There’s an actual physical tension in my belly. That’s the FEELING of fear and guilt attached to the thought, “Those other people who have written their books and created their films about their Appalachian Trail journeys are better than I. I have a wonderful personal story of transformation and love, but I haven’t written my story! I don’t deserve recognition or getting attention, and on and on….”
Well, today, I know that this is a S.T.O.R.Y. – a Sustained Tale Of Repressed Yearning,  playing out for my learning and growing. And today, I know that I can love myself having this Story and take it into the Thirteen Steps. So, I’m off to do that! Perfect setup  for NonSenses Immersion!
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Here it is! Funny how it happened that before I got to the colors, I responded to a thread about trailnames, contributing my unique name story to the other beautiful ones. Then, I interrupted the immersion with an email to my former ridgerunning partners, which only I could have done.

What the colors showed me today is that each color IS unique. Blue cant be green – or yellow or red. Yet, they all need to be there for the whole spectrum. Each person -including myself – has a unique story and contribution to make to the World, creating the rainbow of God!!

What’s YOUR uniqueness? Are you living it? Hiding it? Yearning for it? Discovering it?

I want to hear about it! Let’s chat!
Chat With Regina

Onward

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A friend sent a reframe of my Old Story “I was cheating on my husband while hiking”. Her words suggested this other perspective: “your marriage was cheating on you. You were being true  to yourself. I hadn’t thought of that before! From that angle, the shame can subside.

Heart’s green light flows today, from a self-loving center core out to the world.

Saving Mr Banks – and Me Too

I watched the video of Mary Poppins, followed by Saving Mr Banks which reveals the story of P.L. Travers’ journey to signing over the rights to her creation. It was a Radical Forgiveness journey. How? The author had a S.T.O.R.Y., a Sustained Tale of Repressed Yearning. Mary Poppins had been Mrs. Travers’ characterization of her childhood experience with her dad, Mary Poppins playing the role of magical rescuer and someone who set things right.

What I realized from Saving Mr Banks was that what it took  to share Mary Poppins with the world through the eyes of Walt Disney was “finishing the story”. Allowing her dad to rise out of his prison, to find his joy AND be prosperous, let her share Mary Poppins with the world. Letting there be a New Story, set Mary Poppins free.

I see something of MYSELF in her story. I’ve been reluctant to share my Appalachian Trail story, an important plank in a hiking coach’s platform, wouldn’t you think? Well, just like P.L. Travers, I have been reluctant to turn over my trail persona to the world. To do that would mean revealing a part of the story that still feels shameful to me. Letting the main character, myself, be on stage as a woman who accomplished her great feat of hiking the Appalachian Trail while cheating on her husband, is hard for me to tell.

Although I have since divorced, there’s still a lingering shame – that scarlet letter “A” – that I want to hide. So, freely sharing the truly human story of that lonely woman who embarked solo and attracted a partner on the trail, discovering what heartsinging partnership could be, mirrors P.L. Travers opening to accepting her dad as the man he was, and freeing her own heart.

I’m open to that! Let’s see if I can DO it!!

I’ll start with today’s Nonsenses Immersion. Here goes!!

Nonsense4.26.16Simple wholeness and balance filled me during this immersion. The message I got in this immersion is, “All experiences are part of the wholeness. You did what you did, and that wove your story. As human beings, we choose all sorts of paths, actions, ways of being. Guess what, Regina? You are not the first nor the last woman to discover and express her heart, her need, her self through sexual activity. The guilt, shame, self-loathing you attach to that comes not from TRUTH, but from patriarchal bigotry that puts women in emotional slavery. To be willing to tell your story, claiming it as your human story, could be healing for just the women who can be set free by it.”

Well, today, I can hear that intellectually. And I’m willing to put this out in my blog. I am open that my soul is adjusting its balance with a New Story. How about this one: The more I show up as me, with the story that I’ve played, the more my true purpose is fulfilled and those I’m here to serve find me. I am lovable just the way I am! Mr Banks is saved – and so am I!!

Regina
April 26, 2016

Does this story resonate with you? Do you have a story, a dream, an expression, a yearning that you are afraid to fulfill because of an untold part of your past? Is something blocking you from your goal? Perhaps you don’t even know what it is, just that somehow you can’t seem to take the steps toward something you really want to do? I can help! I recognize it and have steps to take. The first one is to be open to loving yourself in YOUR story, just as you are.

Let’s chat about it and get the conversation started. Get on my calendar for a 20-minute Next Steps Chat and start your journey to freedom, more energy, a new sense of self……………………

20-Minute Next Step Chat with Regina

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Heart



I lovingly embrace ALL my life experiences with ease and joy.

Even the scary ones! Even the ones that invite me to allow one certain man to love me and know what I ‘m thinking and  feeling. Even the ones that mean sharing, sharing, sharing (oh my! this is so hard for me and I don’t know why, oh wait, I do know why, it’s because I might make a mistake and someone could be uncomfortable and judge me for being greedy when really they’re seeing themsleves in me because they want to be brave and share what Spirit sings in them…….)

Today, I take into NonSenses Immersion My Brave Heart, bathing it in the green emerald light of Love, Trust, Opening, Receiving, Giving, Sharing, Grieving.

Yammmmm…….

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Interesting! Green, shimmering and full, could only arise OUT of yellow’s nourishing light and blue’s expressive light. My lesson in that is that my sharing may arise out of my nourished and authentically expressed energies. Love stands not alone.

Green also begged for the full spectrum of colors to stand with it. Love attracts wholeness, fulfillment, company!

Opening to Spirit, opens me to YOU!
Let’s chat! How does heart energy arise and flow for you?

Lets Talk Heart!

STEPS

Here’s what I’m taking into my NonSenses Immersion today: I embrace all my life’s experiences with confidence and joy. Where did that come from? Louise Hay’s list of affirmations. My arm has been hurting for a while and her view suggests that’d a sign of resistance to receiving. Interesting!

Another suggestion that receptivity may be a challenge for me was my reaction to watching Milana Leshinski’s invitation to join her Joint Venture Insider’s Circle. “It wouldn’t work for ME! I’m too different. My idea doesn’t fit.”

I’m open, however, to attracting a JV community that DOES support my idea, my niche. That’s what I’ll take into my NonSenses Immersion today. Let’s what what happens! image

Opening to Spirit, opens me to YOU!
Let’s chat! How does heart energy arise and flow for you?
Here’s the link:
Lets Talk Heart!

Form Arising

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My Nonsenses  Charging paintings the past two days have emerged with form! Usually, the colors alone in patches and washes satisfy my feelings for a color immersion. As I’ve been shifting my perspective of sharing HeartSingingWalk from secretively personal to universally integrated, I’m allowing sensory shape to become visible.

As I write this, especially those words “universally integrated”, I realize that this journey of consciousness is actually way bigger than my own life! What seems to me now to be a big transformation for me in my own life CAN go even beyond what I have been imagining, until now anyway. I have been fairly daunted with the vision of a tribe of a hundred embracing and integrating HeartSingingWalk in their lives. Suppose the true spirit of HeartSingingWalk is to reach even further than my community! How about thousands walking to Wild Wind and Senses Walk! Holy Moly! That knots my stomach!

What it also does is help me ease into the idea that there are a HUNDRED heartsingers energetically  vibrating with HeartSingingWalk in its current phase of reality.

The tree form arises as a metaphor of my growing idea. From a rich and supportive root of personal and professional assistance in the fertile soil of Time the trunk of Forgivenesswalks rises upward. The tree’s trunk is formed by its sturdy principles of Spiritual and Human unity, Nourishment in Nature, Authentic personal expression as fulfillment of Higher Purpose, and others waiting for language.

These principles grow and branch upward as specific programs and products, delivered through a dichotomous array of community members, all connected as tree branches and growing organically.

The growth experienced by each member produces the leaves, those manifestations of the play of light and water.

That’s the Forgivenesswalks Tree!

I believe that any growing idea could be as a tree, even an imagined walk of the Appalachian Trail! That’s an interesting juxtaposition – turning that wonderful journey metaphor into a tree! Try it! Then, set a time to chat about it with me! I’d love to hear what’s arising from your Nonsensory play as your metaphor for a creation.
Talk with Regina!

Hesitance Reframed

I found my first ever blogpost on a wordpress.com site I had forgotten about!  I thought I had lost that post, thinking it had been posted on my wordpress.org website. But, while commenting on a friend’s blog and having to sign in, I discovered MY blog!  What’s even more interesting is that the sentiments revealed in that post mirror my current feelings about being visible in the world – even after seven years of growing into this new role.

What’s different is that NOW I am much more patient with the pace at which my transformation is occurring. I can see the growth that has taken place, and appreciate more and more just how monumental it is to transform deep limiting beliefs. I’m open to the idea that the beliefs that linger are the ones that contain my true purpose for life, and also are the source of my power and my niche.  It’s the very people who recognize themselves in MY transformation who I am here to serve!  The more I’m willing to SHARE my steps of evolving intentionally from a shy, invisible heartsinger into a joyously prosperous, dynamically visible and authentically transformed leader the more others on the same journey can see me as a model.  Read this post from February, 2010 to see my mindset when I started my coaching business. Then, stay tuned for the continued tales of transformation!

“Do you take steps into new territory with ease?  I learned last week in the Spirit Rich Retreat that I don’t!  At least, not in the realm of career.  Sure, when I get out on a Nature trail, I confidently and eagerly embark on a journey.  My heart sings when my feet hit the Earth!

So, why do I resist taking steps in creating my business?  Why have I resisted claiming my joy as a hiker, a Nature guide, a consummate Nature lover?  I can see it more clearly now.  I’ve had deeply ingrained beliefs that expressing my joy as a professional Nature guide has been something I’ve believed I can’t do!

I’ve surrounded myself with people who tell me that’s not a real job. I’ve  convinced myself that the national economy supports that belief too.

Well, I’m ready to topple that belief!  I’m ready to claim that exploring Nature, guiding others in Nature, and hiking ARE viable career choices for me!   I’m ready to attract mentors, clients, supporters, venture capitalists, marketers, health practitioners, insurance agents and all sorts of other experts into my expanding circle of creators.  I’m attracting all sorts of people who say “Yes!” to me as a spiritually and financially rich Nature guide.

Maybe it’s not that I have to convince others to enjoy Nature.  I have to convince ME!”  I wrote this seven years ago!

Does any of this resonate with you? Do you feel trapped by your limiting beliefs and wonder if you’ll EVER be free of that one way of being that just seems all-pervasive, like it must just be the way you “are”?  If it’s something you’d like to change, that you have a hard time accepting about yourself, then let’s chat!  I want to LISTEN to that S.T.O.R.Y. or   that Sustained Tale Of Repressed Yearning.

This is ONE of the evolutionary discoveries I’ve made since writing this first blog. As I observed my own growth, I’ve coined this and other descriptions of myself, then put together ways to have it be different!

  • First is to LOVE myself being just that way!
  • Next is to get really good at feeling and expressing how I really FEEL
  • Then, say, “Hey! I think I could just be making this all up!”
  • Next, say, “I’m open to seeing this differently.”
  • Then, I go for a WALK, to let that new thought settle into my body.
  • Finally, I let SPIRIT do the rest, and I watch the miracles happen.

What’s even more exciting is that I can see obvious changes in my life that prove these steps work!

  • I have satisfied, successful clients who have had breakthroughs in all of these steps.
  • I have a new relationship, and love myself having divorced.
  • I am financially prosperous
  • I even landed not just one but TWO jobs that rely on loving Nature, hiking, and sharing bold ideas.

I wrote that post seven years ago.  I can see that I’m still shy about revealing what’s really going on with me, but I’m still DOING IT!  The difference is that I see my shy, invisibility as my source of power, and authentic vulnerability. Hey! If a shy, reluctant person like me can get out there and teach, share, coach, and guide, then ANYONE can transform their own life!  So hop on this path and play with your own transformation!

Let’s chat!  Get into my calendar and set up a time.  20 minutes if you’re just dipping your toe in. I’m willing to give you a full 45 minutes for a Dream Weaving session if you’re eager to jump in to looking at yourself with love.


Important Details

A dreaming Pacific Crest Trail hiker posed this question in a women’s hiking forum: “When & where will you start? how long have you been planning? Would you share some of your plans/knowlege… I’m so nervous I feel I will leave some important detail out.”
She’s touching on one of the Five Essentials in the Guiding Star for Radiant Hiking, and that’s TIMING. Timing is essential in many aspects of our fulfilling walks. When we consider our hike in our life, the timing in the seasons, the timing of each section, in our daily pace, and even in the timing of each step, we can fashion a walk that builds from the inside out, one that takes outer shape from our inner intention. Our hike becomes an expression of our purpose and our physical and spiritual rhythm.

My suggestion to her would be to sit quietly and imagine herself in rhythmic timing in all of these areas and listen to that inner conversation. Then, bring those answers into her plan with the trail. My belief is that this will lay a foundation for a radiantly fulfilling walk.

A Hiker’s “Why”

I read this hiker’s blog today. She seems to be discounting her purpose, saying she doesn’t know why she’s hiking, and that’s OK.

http://leftbase.com/?p=1568

To me, it’s a missed opportunity to avoid or discount anwering this important, formative question for a fulfilling walk.

Knowing – or inventing- a purpose for embarking on a journey can help a hiker make important choices about all five essential areas of planning as well as provide quick clarity when challenges arise during a hike.

Better to alter one’s stated purpose during a walk than to skip the enrichment of choosing one on which to build from the beginning.

When I decided to commit to planning my 2007 Appalachian Trail thruhike, two focusing statements arose: I wanted to finish the trail and I wanted to do something that really mattered to me, even though my husband didn’t want to do it with me.
Together, those purposes kept me on the planning path and on the trail once I began.

Deepening these motivations through the walk nourished an inner courage that fueled significant revision of my self confidence and my worldview. When I fulfilled my mission, I knew myself as a heartsinging walker, as a hiking partner, and as a wife who was willing to take a stand for herself in her marriage.

I didn’t know at the beginning that my hike would give me this expanded clarity. That experience grew from my foundational, if simple, purpose to finish the trail and honor my personal dream.

What purpose are you willing to claim for your walk?

Heartsinging Pace

I’ve weighed in on a thread started by a mom concerned that her daughter is discouraged on her Appalachian Trail hike. I found out that she’s walked over 200 miles in her first two weeks on the trail, starting in early March on Springer Mountain, Georgia. Here’s my response:
If that’s her heartsinging pace, then bravo. As a ridgerunner, listening to hundreds of hikers, I discovered that the happy, fulfilled hikers were those who found a personal pace that came from within, matching their own body’s comfort with their walk’s purpose. The unhappy, worn out ones were pushing themselves to “make miles” according to some formula they had heard from outside. The hike became something they felt forced  to do, and many had something else they’d rather be doing. I believe there’s an inner purpose and pace that evokes a fulfilling, energizing, heartsinging walk! May hers be so! #singingheartwalk