What If?

January 31, 2018

My Super Blue Blood Moon experience today filled my senses with awe and my soul with awakening! A few days ago I realized that the view I would get from my employee housing here at Anza-Borrego Desert State Park would limit my experience to just the beginning of the totality phase of the eclipse. “That’s not good enough!” I declared. As a creator of fulfillment (in difference to a settler for whatever comes), I asked, “Where can I go to get the fullest eclipse experience? I need to be able to see the horizon!” Where better to see the western horizon than the west coast!

I proposed to my partner, John, “How about if we camp on Tuesday night at one of our State Beaches? That way, we could get to see the most of the eclipse!” To my surprise, at least to the surprise of my Old Story that “John never wants to do my ideas” he said “Sure. That sounds good!”

The timing was perfect because Tuesday and Wednesday are our days off. I complicated things, however, by agreeing to do programs at the Visitor Center on both Tuesday morning and Wednesday evening. (Would someone please remind me next time I schedule my month that even though I love doing programs, skipping days off is a great way to burn out!) Anyway, we arrived at our campsite at San Elijo State Beach, about two hours from home, just after dark, with the almost full moon beaming down on us. We took a walk on the beach in the bright moonlight and set the alarm for 3:30 a.m.

To my delight, I could see the beginning of the partial eclipse through the van window! I could take my time getting up out of the warm covers and heading back out to the beach. At 4:00 a.m. we grabbed our lawn chairs and returned to the beach. That’s when the feeling that this, indeed, could be a moment of completion and new beginning, stirred for me. As we walked in the soft red dark of the total eclipse, I stretched into boldly communicating my sense that this moment could provide a “new light” on our relationship.

You might recall that last week I wrote of our 10th anniversary of completing the Appalachian Trail and how it was marked by John declaring that he thought breaking up was our best strategy for going forward. All week, in true Satori fashion, I noticed the beliefs that were coming up. I played a Satori Game that invited me to stop feeding my Old Story of fear of closeness, being invisible, and keeping my light to myself.

“John,” I said, as we picked our way across the smooth stones in the sand, “I want to start being more open with you about how I’m really feeling and what I’m thinking and doing. I want to let you in on what I’m doing in my business and to put energy into creating a summer occupation that really does fulfill both of us!” You see, earlier that morning we had a strained conversation about what John wants to do this summer. The result was a brand new Visioning Brainstorm Map of all the ideas that we had. He has some pretty exciting ideas! I realized that there really are several alternatives to my idea of returning to Virginia for another season of Ridgerunning, which John isn’t thrilled about.

As the moonlight returned, I had a palpable feeling that my new beginning could truly start now! My boldness, openness, and authentic sharing actually felt pretty good. The “cleansed and resurfaced” moon was a metaphor for my own overshadowing and refreshing of behaviors and beliefs.

I would like to report that everything has gone smoothly and we are both now talking freely, creatively, and joyfully about bold, fresh choices and that would be false. We did keep talking most of the day, with one bout of tenseness when he accused me of stifling his expression of feelings. I was able to sincerely listen, affirming my commitment to visioning a mutually fulfilling summer.

My celebration of this amazing moon event climaxed with a lighthearted program with 57 visitors for the purpose of watching the magnificent moon rise! The moon’s confident, fresh countenace illuminated my soul with my clear purpose of enticing others to come outside and feel their connection with Earth and Spirit. Many participants thanked me for a fun and informative event. “I loved listening to you!” one woman said.

I’m up late, still buzzing from the inner stirring from this dance with the Moon!

What I’m taking into my sleep – if I can get to sleep – is

“What if this boldness, clarity, and fresh illumination can light up a thrilling adventure? What if this summer can truly be the summer that I magnify the dream I conceived ten years ago when I finished not just the Appalachian Trail but the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) as well? What if my declaration to earn my living hiking that spurred me on at the northern terminus of the PCT is ready to take on a fresh glow this summer?”

One of John’s ideas is to return to the Pacific Crest Trail and walk the northern half. What if I co-created that with him? What if everything I’ve done in the past nine years to build Forgiveness Walks could be unleashed and offered to generate the funds and the community to support this walk? What if it’s time to fulfill a new version of “hiking for my living?” That thought thrills me, like the returning light of the Moon. What if I let this light shine?

Job Advice Please

January 21, 2018

Summer is coming! Every year for the past seven years, the ATC offers me a ridgerunning job!  I love that job! It’s work I enjoy doing and feel good at, and the venue is the absolute best for me. It’s in the dream job category of getting paid to do something I love doing. Here’s the catch, though. As the years go on, I want to add another description to the “what I love doing” category.  I want to add, “supporting, inspiring, coaching others to create radiantly fulfilling walks” to my list of job duties.

Ridgerunning doesn’t include that as one of my duties, although many hikers have received emotional support and coaching for their journey by talking with the me as the ridgerunner.  When I have those kinds of conversations with hikers, it would be sooo easy to go beyond the scope of my representation of the ATC and into my Forgiveness Walks role.  I’m very careful about steering clear of that, and have kept the handful of summer coaching sessions and classes to my days off.  No question about that.

Each year, I have more conversations that urge me to entice hikers to focus on their Inner Journey. I am convinced that Inner Journey work is needed in the hiking community.  I walk up favorite mountains imagining retreats, meditations, 13-Steps processes with guidance for hikers in using tools for introspection, charging their energy, clearing out old emotional baggage, meeting each mountain with balanced energy and choice.  I have a job mapped out in my head, with pages of notes describing my programs. I have been working with a business coach to learn systems and habits of successful entrepreneurs. In my mind, Forgiveness Walks could be my fulltime job.  I even talked about doing that a couple of years ago when I took a summer off ridgerunning.  I started out on my hiking summer with John promoting a group coaching program. I gave it up when we didn’t see eye to eye (or foot to foot, I suppose for hikers!) about how to adapt our pace to my “walk in service” vision.

But, the call to “walk in service” is still calling!  With Facebook, especially in a women’s hiking group of over ten thousand members, the conversations continue, in greater numbers, and with more clarity about how transformative and strengthening women’s walks could be when they have tools for turning their troubles into blessings.  I can help with that!

The question is, is that NOW?  Is it time to open the doors to Forgiveness Walks NOW (as in summer 2018)?  Instead of working another season at Ridgerunning?  In addition to Ridgerunning?  In another fashion altogether?  (I’m always open to at least three choices!)

When January ends, I will have chosen.  I know it. I have chosen clearly for the past seven years.

I am open to your suggestions and comments!

Hit reply and let ’em fly!


Celebrate on a Mountaintop!

Ridgerunning provided the model for my logo!







Personal Forgivenesswalk

December 18, 2017

I admit, I didn’t publish yesterday’s post until today after sleeping on it. I was not willing to be that vulnerable, to show up stuck in my S.T.O.R.Y. (Sustained Tale Of Repressed Yearning).

Well, as journeys through a Radical Forgiveness transformation go, I have moved another step along and can now recognize the value of yesterday’s upset. I was experiencing the first of the five phases of Radical Forgiveness: Telling the S.T.O.R.Y. and having it witnessed and validated.

I told my story to my Creative Business Studio group, and got it validated. “I’ve been there, Keep taking your baby steps and soon you’ll fly.” My coach got to maintain my designated role for her as “insufficiently supportive in exactly the way I want” and added a heart to my post.  And today, I’m also willing to tell you, faithful reader, my S.T.O.R.Y.

That’s because I have already moved on to further steps. Actually, today I’m experiencing the Third Phase – Flip the Energy Drain Switch with Willingness. (If you read closely, you can see that I was already alluding to that in yesterday’s post with my “What if” questions).

What about the Second Phase? Well, that was there, too, although I didn’t specify it. That’s Feel the Feelings. Usually that’s the most challenging for me, except for feeling angry and blaming. This time, I actually noticed that I was allowing the sadness come up. As I pushed my grandson in his stroller through my pre-divorce neighborhood, tears trickled. (Hey! Trickling tears are pretty good for me, an expert at stuffing feelings.)

So, let’s move on then shall we?

Phase Three is being willing to see there’s perfection in the situation. Well, I’m open to the idea that there are other ways to see the situation. Maybe my family role, my relationships, my business could be viewed differently. Sure. Why not?

And now, on to Phase Four: Invent a New S.T.O.R.Y. (Spiritual Truth Of the Real You, meaning me, of course, but the word is STORY, not STORM!).

I see that yesterday I was already dabbling in that too with my “What ifs”.

So, there you have it. What’s next is Phase Five: Integrating the Shift. For this story, that’s sharing this little drama with you for your entertainment.  And, this time, I’m going to take a bigger step and expand it even more! 

I’m going to invite you to join me in applying these five phases of Radical Forgiveness in your own journey. That’s what I really want to be doing. I want to share, teach, model, and coach courageous heartsingers to use these tools as we create a world of conscious creators! 

My best way to do that right now is to create custom coaching relationships with people who want a practical, easy, effective way to turn upsets into blessings and get unstuck from the daily emotional mire.

If that’s you, reply to this email and we’ll get started! 

  • Spontaneous
  • Delightfully affordable
  • Immediately pertinent
  • Surprisingly freeing

Hey! This is fun! I think I just turned my trouble into a blessing.

In joy,


Sunrise Beauty

October 31, 2017

John and I have watched the sunrise together for 18 consecutive days! I had requested of him that we do something special and unique together, something that sets our partnership apart and becomes a sort of ritual. He suggested observing the sunrise together first on October 14, my second day back at work in the Visitor Center here in Anza-Borrego Desert State Park in southern California. That’s an easy thing to do where we live in employee housing. Just a fifty-yard walk from our house we can get an expansive view of the horizon!  We’ve discovered that the sunrise is unique every day!  The colors and clouds play with each other differently in combinations and patterns that astound us anew each day. We’ve also noticed that the effects of the sunrise, light playing on the east facing mountains, varies markedly as well! The mountains just west of our house catch the magenta pink glow of the first light. We have to watch carefully, though, because sometimes the pink begins a partial minute before the sun shines above the horizon. Sometimes, it appears at exactly the same time.  One morning, the flat brown hue lingered, as if the glow just didn’t get turned on!

We have also learned that setting ourselves up to witness the sunrise each day requires geographic and topographic mastery! On five of our eighteen sunrise mornings we have ventured to other venues. Even though we knew the sunrise time, we were challenged with a clear view of the horizon. Once, we were in the Borrego Palm Canyon oasis, a beautiful spot in which to start our day, but completely hidden from a sunrise view, secluded under palm trees in the back of a canyon! Another morning we awoke a couple of hours before sunrise, having driven 35 miles to a trailhead at the base of Ghost Mountain, bearing the historic mountaintop homesite of a family in the 1930’s. Surely, this would be a sunrise vista. We climbed the mile-long ascent in the twilight only to find the eastern horizon blocked by a higher shoulder of the mountain! We dashed higher, clambering over granite boulders, racing the light. We aimed for divergent lookout boulders where I made it just in time to glimpse the first orange tip of the sun’s orb. John reached his vantage point half a minute past the start of the sunrise.

This morning, we got up at 3:30 a.m., intent on walking 4 miles in the sandy road of Font’s Wash to the popular icon of the desert, Font’s Point. In the dark, however, we took a wrong turn and found ourselves 1.3 miles astray from our path. We made a quick choice to continue the new route in Short Wash to another viewpoint called Vista del Malpais, “View of the Badlands”.  The sandy road slowed our walk, sometimes to a slogging pace. I often walked to the side of the road where the ground was harder packed. Sunrise was predicted to be at 7:03!  We made it to the viewpoint, indeed magnificently open, at 6:43. Plenty of time. The sunrise celebration was spectacular, marking our first of 18 days with an overcast sky.

This time, I took a series of photos and posted them here in an album. with the link below.

I’d love to have you join me in the sunrise ritual!  Hopefully, you can see it where you are!  I used a website to create a calendar that shows the daily sunrise time.  It also indicates sunset, moonrise and moonset, plus the six phases of twilight, a new bit of learning for me!


Here are the photos from our Vista del Malpais sunrise!  Enjoy!



Thanks, Louise Hay

August 30, 2017

Louise Hay passed away today. Her work gave language and acceptance to self-love as a path to loving others. It was my sister, Claudia, who first shared Louise’s words with me. I remember taking the cassette tape into bed and listening, with amused astonishment, to that deep, soothing voice enticing me to be grateful for every little thing in my life. At the time, it actually seemed a bit silly to be thankful for the morning light, and for my body’s basic functions, and for water, and breathing. Her visualization of walking to the ocean of abundance to scoop up goodness, asking, “What are you using, a teaspoon?!!” really jarred me. Aghast, I noticed that I was! 

Her book of affirmations, You Can Heal Your Life, has helped me pinpoint symptom-specific beliefs countless times! What a novel – and challenging- idea, that symptoms and diseases are physical manifestations of limiting beliefs! It seemed incredulous in theory, but neither could I  deny the accuracy of her alphabetical list of conditions paired with beliefs! So, I used it, setting aside my need to have scientific proof before acting as if this body-mind connection were true.

For me, Louise Hay’s way has been a helpful precursor and complement to Colin Tipping’s Radical Forgiveness, the practice which has made room for seeming miracles and shifts in my life!

I’ve noticed that the reports of Louise Hay’s passing have all used words like, “passed,” and “left her body” and not “she died”. That seems fitting for a great teacher who gave us the language of Love in terms of everything being Energy! Surely, she is still here in another form. I am imagining that she, and what she brought to humanity, is now even more available to us in her non-physical form. May we magnify her gift by embodying her words, her ideas, her legacy!

“Every experience I have is perfect for my growth.”

-Louise Hay


May 28, 2017

I am grateful to my coaches, mentors, and teachers for helping me create Forgivenesswalks!

Colin and Jo Ann Tipping  radicalforgiveness.com
Ladies Who Launch   Ladieswholaunch.com

Laura West     Center for Joyful Business

Wendy Lippard

Ilona Dolinska-Reiser  Wealth Skills

Thea Sheldon  www.theasheldon.com

Bill Baren  www.billbaren.com

Landmark Forum http://www.landmarkworldwide.com/

Anthony Neal

Ellen Britt    http://pinkcoattails.com/

Marnie Marcus   http://marniemarcus.com/unplugged/marketing-consultant/

Julie Ann Turner  http://consciousshift.me/

Barbara Hotz

Brenda Cobb and Jane Holmes   The Living Foods Institute

Debbie Unterman  http://www.debbieunterman.com/

Christina Hills  Website Creation Workshop

Mary Canane http://www.marycanane.com/

Celeste Wilkinson

Jennifer Urezzio  Soul Language

Maritza Parra  https://maritzaparra.com/

David Perdew   https://mynams.com/

Gratitude in Advance

May 17, 2017

Huzzah for speaking up for basic services! My “basic economy” ticket on delta left me with a seat “assigned at the gate”. What an uneasy feeling! At 3:30 am local time I called delta saying, “I really want to know that delta cares about me by assuring me that I have a seat before I get to the gate. What would it take to get that?” “Buy a different ticket next time,” Debbie said. “How about for this flight? Can you tell me if the flight’s overbooked? ” She replied, “No, but I’ll check the seating chart. “Wow!”, I said, “Having a seat would really make a big difference for me! I’m feeling like you really care about me!” Well, she found seats for both flights, and changed my status! I now have seats and a boarding pass! Rachel Rossiter Trabelsi, I was thinking of you as I practiced what you helped me learn during my Introduction Leader Program – affirming my value and being grateful in advance. And, Debbie Unterman Deanna Hohnhorst Colin Tipping for creating the Satori board game that helps me practice the words and feelings of New Stories like “I’m worthy to receive what I need”.  I thanked Debbie, then asked if there was someone I could tell about her service. I assured her supervisor that it really helped me to get that service and will now board the flight believing that delta cares about me. That’s my contribution today toward creating a world of generosity and service. Basic Service. Gratitude in advance.

It’s Not Him

May 11, 2017

Feeling unfulfilled has nothing to do with him. Being solo has shown me that. It’s clear that my disappointments, low energy, scattered focus and distraction are not caused by him. I’ve done it to myself!

In my solo month, I’ve hardly accomplished any of the things I thought were so important – doing touch for health, painting, journaling. Tiredness has pervaded me. Attraction to the political drama playing out in the country saps my time and dominates my attention.

On the other hand, I have been delightfully focused on my schedule of evening programs, spending quality time with a handful of visitors in the evenings. That, at least, has been an admirable focus. I have done my job well. 

I’m willing to love and accept myself and honor what I HAVE done, accepting that my list of desired activities just may exceed the capabilities of my current schedule.

And I do have a quandary about Life energy. It’s been good to be solo to sort out what’s my responsibility to myself in contrast to my responsibility to another.


May 1, 2017

I notice this morning that my awareness of my body and my quandary about physical fitness and energy occur as my authentic life. Preparing to participate in Steve’s memorial service amid the Park community occur as tangential occupation. My view is that the Park community is a superficial one, where I act, not where I share deeply, live authentically, reveal my true feelings, forge nourishing friendships. I have integrated Kathy’s admonishment that I shun the Park community as clients, revealing only my skills and interests in park interpretation, not Radical Forgiveness. So, I haven’t. And, just as in other times and venues, my full expression is diluted, and I keep my relationships shallow and pleasant. I go to the memorial as a support person, an observer. 

I wonder now, having observed this, if I’m making it up that authentic sharing of my worldview and feelings is prohibited. Maybe it would actually be better to share space for Satori or painting or Touch for Health. Saying “yes” to that conjurs up a list of “yeah buts”. Hmm. That’s a good clue that the construct could just be mine, keeping me safe!

Later- guess what? I felt integral, connected, understood, and vital to the Park community, notably Eli’s family. Nobody knew how to be, how to understand. All of us are baffled, saddened, mystified by Steve’s passing! I’m right there in the group with everyone else!