April 22, 2017
39 days solo remain. I got up at the usual alarm time and took a walk! I headed east on the dirt road. Coolness and sunlight bathed me. Stiffness relaxed somewhat. Quiet and ease, contentment at designing my morning, lightened my step. “I can wander as I want!”
Projects to accomplish flooded my mind, begging a list. “Not today. Just walk.” I watched ants forging a broad path in a short time. Resolute.
Solo, but definitely not lonely!
April 21, 2017
Yesterday evening, I enjoyed the luxury of solo after completing Be Crepuscular. I felt bonded with the participants and fulfilled by a leisurely walk home. Visiting Duane, camphost, lost its charm when he started complaining that no ranger had said goodbye to the others who had left. Time for solo!
Today starts my 40-day solo journey! Feeling eager, sleepy. I started with one round of Chakra Chant. I’m planning to ride my bike to the VC. Today’s question is “What are the practices that would be fulfilling during my solo journey?” Painting, morning riding, conscious eating, energy balancing, satori, journaling, visiting…
I received a text message from a friend: “My sister and I want to begin a hike at Springer Mountain in mid-July. Do you have maps we can borrow or recommend the best maps?”
My maps are in storage in Virginia while I work out in California! Besides, once you step on the Appalachian Trail, you’ll fall in love with it and want your own set of maps for fanning the flame of your new passion and recording your memories! Here are my recommendations
Maps are helpful for spatial orientation, road crossings, and for locating nearby towns and highway routes. They can also show topography, shelters, and points of interest along the way. I also enjoy perusing a good map for bedtime reading! Here are suggestions for maps for the southern section of the Appalachian Trail:
The National Geographic Trails Illustrated Maps are excellent with detail and scope. A new series since I walked the AT has come out: the Appalachian Trail series (#1501-1513). 13 maps cover the entire trail. Before this series, it took two maps to cover the trail in Georgia. If you’re planning to walk trails in Georgia in addition to the AT, including the Benton MacKaye Trail, Brasstown Bald, and Bartram Trail, among others, you might prefer #777 and #778.
#1501 covers the southern 200 miles of the Trail.
#777 covers Springer Mountain part way through Georgia.
#778 covers the north Georgia section
Guidebooks are good companions for maps because they round out the information on the maps with data points specific to the trail, distances between landmarks, shelters, and water sources. In addition, current guides also include details about trail towns, post offices, shuttle providers, gear vendors, and even trail profile guides. Currently, there are two popular guides available. Both are updated annually and have dedicated followers who swear to the accuracy and helpfulness of the guide they chose.
The AT Guide (“The AWOL Guide”)
Thruhikers Companion and other planning guides from the Appalachian Trail Conservancy
MOBILE PHONE APP
If you prefer a digital guide to the Trail, the Guthook Guide has become quite popular since its first release in 2012. The app and the demo guide to the Approach Trail are free. In-app purchase of 9 sections gives hikers everything they need to navigate the entire 2,189.2 miles of the Appalachian Trail and 273 miles of Vermont’s Long Trail. Each section costs $8.95, with a bundle price for all the sections.
January 3, 2017
I’m perusing an award winning business mentor’s site. She lists products and services from $19.95 for the book to $50,000 for personal coaching.
I’m saying no, no, no.
What’s behind my no?
I can’t/won’t put my success first, above my job, above my relationship. I assume that transforming myself and my business, my lifestyle, my image, my offerings, would be a full-time, total life makeover endeavor, and that’s too much change!
Not even this success by design master can make MY idea successful! Why? Because my idea is too different. And, again, because I am not 100% committed to fulfilling my dream, telling others that I’m doing it, then dedicating my whole self to it!!
Or…My idea is repetitive, already out there, done better by others, just another arrogant life coach doing consulting instead of real work, in other words, not different enough!
That is so interesting! I am good at self defeat!
January 3, 2017
Here’s my story:
Because he is uncomfortable talking about “sensitive” topics like finances, life dreams, what we’re creating together, politics, I can’t talk about them. I can’t have an intimate relationship, just a sexual one, a caretaking one, a partnered one.
Because he doesn’t want to do Touch for Health with me, or play Satori, paint, journal, or sing that means that I don’t do those things unless I find others outside our relationship to do them with.
And that’s a problem for me because I want a partner who does what I love with me!
That was true with him when we were first together. We walked. We walked the AT. We walked the PCT. We walked the BMT, the Laurel Highlands Trail, the Buckeye Trail, the Superior Hiking Trail.
I had the idea to become a transformational hiking coach and earn my living hiking. I worked on that, so far for 7 years, clarifying my message, my products, my infrastructure. I am waiting to commit to it and expand because he doesn’t want to do it with me. I tried marketing a group program during our walk last summer, but found daily blogging competitive with reaching our mileage goal and my marketing ineffective. Talking about it with him frustrated him and separated us. I get it that online marketing of forgivenesswalks is not what lights him up. I believe it is still what would light me up.
Now, we are working at jobs in the same place. Mine is about 80% heartsinging. I do enjoy the ease of working in a structure with regular pay and teamwork. I have broad creative freedom within an agreeable scope of topics.
It’s in a fixed location, far from my kids. The schedule is also fixed with limited time for traveling during the winter. That’s balanced by four months off in summer.
So, what is the core belief that keeps me silent and alone with my heartsinging expression?
Maybe that’s the belief. I am silent and alone in my heartsinging expression.
That resonates. I am silent and alone, not just with my partner, but with everyone, in the World! My heartsinging, in it’s fullest expression, is held captive in my heart, sung only to myself, waiting for someone else to give it a shared platform.
How interesting! When I put those words out, it makes no sense! That can’t be true, except that I’m making it so.
Well, for now, I’m willing to love myself having this story, open to the idea that I have created it for my own benefit. If I can make him responsible, then that lets me off the hook for taking the risk of sharing my message.
Last year, I gave it a fervant go at launching a forgivenesswalks community. It didn’t get any members from my exisiting community.
I could create a fresh journey and offer it. I acknowledge my story and also acknowledge that I am unwilling to say “I refuse to put any more energy in it.”
I feel familiar and in control in this story! To admit it to him, or others, would open up an unfamiliar path and require me to adopt new ways of being. I resist!
I’ll think about this!
December 27, 2016
Not talking doesn’t work for me. Relating with him now is like relating to my own 40-year old self. Keeping my opinions and preferences bottled up til they explode out, silent response and revealing body language, poverty consciousness and feigned then regretted generosity.
I want to relate and create from where I am NOW! Relate with conscious purpose, striving for conscious, vibration-raising conversation.
The situation: john is driving along the carlsbad coast witbout speaking. I don’t know his plan or his desire. He spoke earlier of gping on the walk he told me about which I didn’t hear (“you weren’t listening”). I had envisioned doing our REI errand then returning to take johanna back. Well, we just got on I-5 going north. No walk? Dont know. No speaking.
Rant about not talking.
Silently go along angry and stressed.
Silently go along observing the scenery, breathing, energizing my nonsenses, writing this post, accepting him as is.
November 9, 2016
I truly want to grasp what Marnie means here! I would love to sit together with friends Vera, Roger, Kym, and others who envision unity with all, to listen and understand!
”Yesterday morning I predicted Trump would win. Want to know the main reason why? Over the last 7 years I have watched the preparation of Light Bearers with messages of freedom to share (spiritual, physical, financial, and emotional restoration). But these people have gone through a lot of hard things in the last few years. We’ve just been trying to survive.
Maslow knew that people can’t self actualize when the basics are threatened. Lighting the way for others is the last thing on your mind when you’re in survival mode.
I knew that if we continued along socialist paths, our society’s days were numbered. Light Bearers would not have the opportunity or time to deliver their foreordained messages. Millions would not be set free and healed. Surely God would not place a good desire in your heart and then not create a way for you to achieve it.
As we united in prayer to save America, God created a window of time for us to step forward and deliver our messages. And Trump’s boldness paved a way for our voices to be expressed and heard as well.
We are bolder now, and we have a work to do and a window of time in which to do it. The light bearer chandelier, which had been taken down for cleaning, will now be hoisted back to the ceiling to illuminate the world with Christ’s light.
Do your work now, my friends. Shine, teach, liberate the captives and bind up the broken hearted. You are Christ’s healing hands! Step forward and rescue and triage the wounded while this season of liberty lasts. #LightTheWorld”
“We united in humble prayer, we fasted, we turned to our God, we sought His face, we repented. True to His Word, Our Father heard from heaven and gave us a miracle…. an opportunity to truly heal our land. Any festering wound must first be lanced and cleansed before ointment and a bandage placed upon it. Time. It takes time to heal, but the process has started.
Thanks, first and foremost, to God and His holy angels who were hard at work answering our prayers to sweep corruption from high places and restore our liberty. God heard our prayers and the cries of the slain and unborn.
Let us continue to repent and seek His face that He will protect our new leadership and help them ferret out the secret combinations wherever they may be and restore truth, justice and the American way!
Praying for a smooth transition in what I imagine will not be a pleasant experience for some. Lancing and cleansing is never the most pleasant part of healing a festering wound. Hold still, America. Let the God of heaven do His work and our land will be healed.”
In a spirit of willingness to discover our common ground of Love, what is the meaning here?
November 8, 2016
Election Day, and I believe that the Radical Forgiveness tools could make a difference for people in the aftermath! Colin shared a blogpost about that very topic. My mind spins with the idea of having a FB group to field stories and share the tools.
The idea is followed immediately with doubts and beliefs! “I don’t have time! I don’t have internet! I shouldn’t charge for membership!”
What can I do? What could go wrong? Why not do this?
Check with the coaches group. Maybe teaming up with others would be good.
Fulfillment Partnership Journey
November 1, 2016
I noticed this morning that John asked, “How can I make your morning special?” My response was, “talk with me.”
I ventured into expressing my ever-present imagination of having a life partner who shares my fulfillment. I spoke about that and John listened without balking.
What I noticed is that as soon as I had shared a bit, I balked! I thought, “whoops! There I go again, talking too much, laying out my impossibly demanding, far reaching, complicated, outlandish life-purpose thing that no one else could ever live into! Why can’t I just settle for being loved and cared for?” And then I apologized.
“Sorry I say too much.”
And then, John met me. He said, “Well, I support you in living that purpose, really being it and attracting that partner, and maybe it can be me.”
I noticed that I really don’t believe that I can HAVE my fulfillment partner. I pull back in embellishing the vision, receiving it, believing that I “already have it” as a manifestation in the implicate order.
I project on John NOT having it, that he has to shy away, stop talking, balking. And then I act as if unfulfillment is my reality.
I now know that I have a CHOICE about what to project!
Step. Step. Step.
Later. We took a walk in a beautiful canyon for a few hours, talking the whole time! Well, we stayed in conversation, but what I got was that the words “life purpose” stirs John’ s unworthiness story!
October 6, 2016
There are things I want to do and ways to be that I have been putting off. Although it’s easiest to say that it’s because I “can’t do those things from within my current partnership.” I put that in quotes because I know that those words are spoken by my victimself settling for her unfulfilling Old Story!
Here are some of what’s missing:
Singing/Playing Satori/Regular Touch-for-health/Using Radical Forgiveness tools every day to expand into love/Visiting friends and family/Fulfilling Forgivenesswalks/Walking slowly and observing Nature/Painting…..
I’m open to the possibility of being fully expressive as myself, claiming my unique expressions in worthiness.
I want to have a relationship founded on talking freely about relating! My partner and I regularly listen, talk, share, and explore our patterns, habits, and old stories of relating. We create New Stories and help each other live into them. We eagerly learn