I want MY outcome to be like Jill’s in Jill’s Story! It’s the story of Jill, Colin Tipping’s sister, whose marriage is saved when she does Radical Forgiveness. I first read it seven years ago when my unhappy marriage was trapping me so much that I was willing to do something about it. Passionless and unexpressive and lacking the companionship I craved, I embarked on my journey with Radical Forgiveness. I did forgive myself and start living and expressing what makes my heart sing. But, for me, instead of getting closer, we drifted apart. Even though we both did worksheets and played Satori, we didn’t grow in love. Today, I’m sitting in a divorce attorney’s office, believing that our path to joy is through this process.
And here lies the gift in the situation. I’m realizing that when I stood on the marriage altar, I wasn’t loving myself. I was in love with the myth that saying “I do” would guarantee everything that I was pouring into it. My beliefs at the time were that I’d always have a companion. I’d be financially secure. My husband would love me just the way I am.
Well, those didn’t come true. And what Radical Forgiveness taught me is that no matter what happens on the outside, it’s mirroring something inside perfectly. And that perfection is a spiritual one, not a human one. Or, it’s giving me an opportunity to learn and grow. Or, suggesting my mission in life.
What I’m opening to now, using the tools of Radical Forgiveness, is that we don’t always get what we want from a human perspective, but what we get is surely what we need from a spiritual perspective.
I just joined a community of people trying out Radical Forgiveness for the first time. My first worksheet was done about eight years ago! I haven’t stopped since because they work, like magic really.
There I was, standing on the Appalachian Trail just a few miles from the Tennessee/North Carolina border. I was there with my husband feeling one with my pack and excited about embarking on this month-long walk together. My mind was at peace. The upset and readiness to abandon the whole trip just 10 days before, had been turned into a blessing!
Instead of just one support person for my teenage son during our hike, I had 20! What a blessing! It all happened when I did that worksheet, thanks to my sister. I had been whining that my friend who had agreed to support my son had backed out. “This always happens to me! People say they’re going to help me and then they don’t! That’s my life!”
So I answered the silly questions on the worksheet, soothed that someone was validating my pain, and by the end, I felt better. Within 30 minutes, I had an idea about some other people who might help. I called them. They said yes. It was working already.
The next day, another mom in our homeschool math class said she’d love to have him. “We need another teenager in our house.”
The week before our hike unfolded like that with surprising friends getting added to the list, including a single woman with no children who teaches college. She said, “I like your son! I’ll check in once a week and bring him dinner or take him out”. She even took him to a concert one night. It enriched her life, she reported later.
That worksheet sure showed me how a trouble could be turned into a blessing. What I had contrived originally actually turned out better on the heels of the upset.
And now, I use worksheets, or the even quicker audio version of the Radical Forgiveness Worksheet, The 13 Steps to Radical Forgiveness, all the time to shift into the love vibration instantly. Don’t get me wrong! My life isn’t all walks in the park. In fact, I’ve got some pretty big challenges. However, by quickly raising my vibration, I step into my power, share with other people, and get creative.
The biggest benefit for me of Radical Forgiveness, however, is that I love myself more. And when that’s happening, I’m a much happier, productive, and energetic person!
Try it out today!
I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet and have already taken a significant journey! It’s an inner journey from upset and quandary to peace and illumination.
It started with checking email, finding Colin Tipping’s invitation to do a Radical Forgiveness worksheet. I did.
As with all worksheets, I had a shift in perception. I forgave myself, then wrote in my notes the following:
I may be holding JR hostage to my inability to monetize my own purpose. I didn’t believe in my self expression, so I gave it up for financial security even to unconsciously promise sexual fidelity with no guarantee of companionship. Well, it’s apparent that JR is done with that. I’m holding on, still clinging to the floating chest of gold that is my life raft among the debris of my marriage with JR.
Crafting a divorce means honoring the finite reality of our journey, gratefully receiving m
y share of the spoils, and channeling anew the resources to create my next work of art, independent of JohnReiter. Cherishing our independence means honoring our divorce.
It also means taking responsibility for channel
ing resources for my vocation.
I realized that I could immediately take action on taking that responsibility by following up with a walker I met yesterday. I emailed her with my gratitude for meeting her and a link to my audio gift. Then, I checked her website. And this is where I discovered the climax to this morning’s journey! As with climbing a mountain on the Appalachian Trail, after winding my way up for a while, I reach a view point.
There, deep in the pages of her site, were the words ‘Paradigm Shift’. She had revealed that these were her guiding words this year. A light illuminated my mind and a smile lit my face.
“That’s my journey too! That’s what I’m experiencing in my life now”. A paradigm shift is a change from an old way of perceiving my world that’s so significant that it shatters that world itself.
My old paradigm was built on the beliefs that the occupation that lights me up isn’t valuable in the marketplace. I took that on and made it real. I married someone who mirrored that for me. I was shy and self invalidating and didn’t even try to learn leadership skills to share my message. But, my higher self knew better and turned up the volume on that vocation, and threw in a little dose of boldness and courage. I listened, and stepped onto the path of my dream. I was stepping into my dream, clumsily, but fervent. My clumsiness showed up as arrogance and selfishness, so I wasn’t taking care of others very well as I claimed my dream. I’ve hurt my husband in my fervor to claim my dream.
Now, in taking responsibility for my dream, it’s time for the paradigm to shift. For me, the shift is cracking at my core. I’m trying hard, unconsciously of course, to hold back the movement, to keep things safe and unchanged. My higher self knows better, and keeps nudging me with support – hints from my healing angels who come in the form of emails and new acquaintances. I fight back with stomach pain and headaches. But Higher Self knows better and reminds me that I have a friend who will use the Radical Forgiveness tools with me.
That’s what I’m seeing today from my clear vantage point on my journey of inventing the possibility of fulfilling self expression and joyous prosperity. I’m not there yet, and yet, I’m definitely making progress! Barb Rehg has it right. The journey is the destination!
Walking into my dream of creating a hiking lifestyle has been a journey of many steps. Just like in a long walk in the physical world, manifesting a dream has pauses at beauty spots where light shines and the view is crystal clear.
In my wilderness of bringing my hiking lifestyle dream into reality, a light flashed when I realized that the two realms of the sensory and the non-sensory are both accessible and useful to me.
The sensory realm is what I can access by using my five physical senses. I see, smell, hear, taste, and touch things that have become “real”. This realm puts me walking on a specific trail, or having the perfect backpack show up, or a client calls for an appointment.
The Nonsense Realm, on the other hand, are all those “realities” that are difficult to explain, to describe, to access with physical senses. And yet, I discovered that they help me bring my dream into physical form.
Intuition, gut feelings, emotions are examples of nonsense phenomena. Healers and creators talk about “chakras”, energy centers related to specific beliefs and ways of being in our lives. I started playing with these and discovered that these are phenomena in the “nonsensory” realm.
They can be strengthened and accessed through sensory activities: sound, light, color.
My favorite way is through my Nonsense Painting Journey.
I’ll talk about that later because it’s time to go walking with my client who’s training for a very physical journey!
But, for now, take a look in your world and become aware of the play of the sensory and the nonsensory.
My favorite wa
On my walk this morning, a hummingbird flitted into view. Here. There. Zoom. Zoom. Sip here. Dart there. Gone.
Here’s what Hummingbird taught me today. “Nourishing my dream and doing my work can be done in multitudes of quick, small, even seemingly random actions. Keep moving. Don’t dwell. Go for the bright spots. They have the most sweet nectar.
How does Hummingbird teach you?
Walk on into your dream!
As Gregg Braden pointed out, we are, like the imaginal cells of the emerging butterfly, standing between the breakdown of the old and the birth of the new.
That’s true for me this week as John and I take deliberate steps to divorce.
Divorce isn’t so scary and frought with shame as I had imagined. John is communicating clearly as he always has.
I do feel physically self conscious, my skin starving for touch and that satisfying caressing that assures me of the boundaries of my body. Holding hands and being held seems pretty basic to my well-being.
I’m not just standing between the old and the new. I’m actively tearing away at the old and building the new in rapid order on several fronts. House. Marriage. Business. All are simultaneously yielding to my catalytic and metabolic endeavor.
The promise of receiving nourishing touch on the heels of this tumult is the fuel of my productivity.
Regina’s Gear Lists
Backpack Contents for Summer
Trash compacter bag lining the pack
Pro-lite 3 Thermarest. ¾ length
Sleeping bag: Western Mountaineering 30 degree down bag
Extra clothing: fleece cap, long sleeve midweight thermal shirt, 1 pair smart wool socks, wind shirt,
Shelter: Custom homemade silnylon tarp with net tent liner (from Ray Way kit)
Backpacker’s Poncho for groundcloth and raingear
Cookset: 1qt stainless pot with lid, Pepsi can stove, 8 oz. denatured alcohol, foil windscreen, pot lifter
Food: 1-1.5 lbs per day
Wash bowl: Small zip-loc lidded bowl, small sponge, 1 oz. bottle of Dr. Bronner’s soap
Water bottles: 3 liter capacity
Comfort Couch: 12”x14” piece of ensolite pad
First Aid Kit
1 oz. bottle hand lotion, 1 oz.Tecnu
2-3 plastic grocery bags for trash or bagging wet stuff
It’s easy to have fresh food on the trail. Sprouted lentils or mung beans provide the crunch and zest of salad in a packable form.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Soak dry lentils or mung beans in a ziploc bag overnight or until they’re soft.
2. Rinse and drain off the water.
3. Give them air and rinse them a few times a day.
4. Enjoy when the first sprouts show.
For more Light T.E.N. food ideas for backpacking, email Regina at email@example.com
I’m excited to be sharing a couple of my favorite activities with the Trail Dames at the 2012 Summit. Www.traildamessummit.com
Here’s the clinic I’m leading bright and early on Saturday morning.
The Sense and Nonsense of Hiking a Long Distance Trail
Along with the gear and food that goes into preparing for a hike, it also helps to clear our emotional pathway as well as we get ready to go on a long distance walk. In this session you will experience two gateways to prepare your unique pathway to walk into those big dreams. Regina will guide you to awaken your five senses and then create your own Energy Color Wheel that you can take home with you. From this awakened place you will explore your life’s Big Dream and identify practical next steps to have it come true. This is a lively, heart-centered, experiential workshop!
The Sense and Nonsense of Hiking a Long Distance Trail.
Here’s an example of an Energy Wheel painting. But it’s the experience of making it that is the energizing part! class=”aligncenter size-medium wp-image-250″ /> ence
It’s morning in a Virginia mountain forest. I’m awake at 6 a.m. listening to the sounds outside my tent. Melodic trills. Whining whistles. Urgent notes increasing from loud to piercing. Hollow pecking. Raucous scolding calls. Buzzing that whooshes past my ear. One propeller in the distance. I can just barely make out the hum of cars on a highway. Sharp Percussive hits rustle leaves on the forest floor. These sounds I recognize. I greet the birds by name whose voices are familiar. I rejoice that i didn’t set up my tarp under the tree that’s dropping nuts. I drift back into half sleep.
And then theres a stomping sound. It startles me. I sit up. What’s that? I lift the bottom edge of my tarp and look out. 20 yards away I make out a movement. My eyes sort out a rusty brown shape . Long thin legs lift up then beat the ground. I discern a head lowering then snapping up. Its a deer! And its regarding ME – or at least the unrecognized and threatening shape of my tarp. It makes sense that a blue and yellow triangle would not be in the memory base of a young deer.
My head is out. We look at each other. I don’t budge. The deer stomps her warning rhythm six or eight more times, then shakes her head and snorts a sneezing barking sound. I don’t leave. She does; hooves pounding out a last percussive phrase through the trees.
I want front row seats for more of this Morning Awakening symphony ! I pull my mat and sleeping bag out the door of my tarp and sit watching and listening, my senses bathed and nourished in Nature’s living art gallery