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Observing Myself in Victimland

It’s scary to think that maybe in myself is contained some of the extreme disconnect that a violent person feels before going on a rampage, even one so heinous as killing someone. I want to deny that I could do something like that, but I have to admit that the feelings are right there. I’m feeling separate from everyone and I know it. Today, I am so entrenched in my story that if I were unstable, undernourished, or easily knocked off center, I could harm someone.  Most likely, I would hurt myself first. The truth is, that I AM hurting myself by maintaining my victim story.

I woke up filled with judgment about myself, my competence to create something of monetary value to others, my ability to organize my life as a profitable business, my competence as a parent, a wife, a productive citizen. That spilled over to projection onto my partner – “He’s incompetent too, so I have to do everything.!”

I launched into “getting things done” mode, only half attentive to a logical sequence of tasks. I was trying to think my way through the short list of tasks that I could keep in my mind. Take out the recycling, start the dishwasher, drive to the paint store, write this blog post. I managed to keep my self hatred to myself and be courteous to the store staff.  “Fine, I’m fine.”   All lies.  I was shaking inside with guilt, shame, sadness, blame, all of it. And no one would know!

Fortunately, I DO have the mental capacity to observe myself. And, I have the training in Radical Forgiveness to notice when my victim story kicks in. That doesn’t prevent me from visiting VICTIMLAND sometimes, though.

This time, I actually CHOSE to explore VICTIMLAND for a while. Do a little experiment to really FEEL the pain of separation. And now, I’m ready to get out of here!  And I know HOW TO DO IT!

USE THE TOOLS!

I took myself on a Forgiveness Walk

  • Awaken my senses
  • Energize my “nonsenses”
  • Do the 13 Steps to Radical Forgivness

The world is a better place and my heart is open to my partner and mostly, to myself.

I didn’t harm anyone

Love can flow.

Does this ever happen to you?

Tell me about it.

My Radical Transformation Worksheet about the Sandy Hook Elementary School Killings

I just DID something about the killings in Connecticutt. Since Friday, when a young man went on a rampage and killed 27 people and himself, I have wondered what I can do about it.

Colin Tipping’s article puts into clear words an action that I can whole-heartedly take. In his email to his Radical Living Community, he encourages us to be open to raising our own vibration through a willingness to be open to the possibility that the situation has a Spiritual perfection in it, possibly for several reasons:

  • It gives us a chance to demonstrate forgiveness to our children
  • It gives us a chance to look into our own tendency to act violently and rashly, even if on a smaller scale
  • It gives us a chance to be open to taking action and taking a stand
  • It gives us a chance to grieve publicly and enmasse
  • It gives us a reason to be generous and compassionate
And more.

Read Colin’s email here:

Colin Tipping’s Email

In the email, he recommends that we all do the Radical Transformation Worksheet, a quick and easy way to refocus our energy and choose peace and empowerment.

The link for the worksheet is in the email.  It’s a FREE worksheet, although Colin does ask you to register with your email address in exchange for access to the FREE downloads.  That’s a small price to pay for this huge gift to the world!

I did it!  Here’s MY worksheet all filled out.  See what you come up with, and let me know!

Radicalforgiveness

The Shepherds’ Play Verse

In my heart, a shepherd
In my head, a king
Before the Child together, they offer what they bring
The heart will fire the head
The head will light the heart
The Spirit Child within will know LOVE’S healing art.

Rudolf Steiner

 

What are your thoughts and reflections on this verse?

Please comment!

Ut hoy!   (That’s the shepherds’ greeting from the play!)

“Reflections on “Too much to do”

I am cocreating my future.

My waking mind is abuzz with possible activities for the day. I have the privelege of choice because I am blessed with the provision of my basic survival needs. I have shelter, food, love and affection, safety.

I have a blank canvas on which to paint my life. Will I see that as a blessing or a burden? Do I see a vibrant palette of universally beautiful colors or a murky quagmire of ugly obstacles? I get to choose. I can dance. I can slog.

Four More Years: The Journey Continues

Stand my ground and own my greatness 

Four years ago, I proclaimed, “I’m going to be prosperous hiking!”I had just finished walking 4,000 and some miles in the previous year. I believed in myself. I knew that I could do anything I wanted.

Well, have I done that?Not completely. I have suggestions of what I want. I have vignettes of the Hiking Lifestyle I’ve fantasaized. I’ve written about that life.

I’m on the journey. Today, I curled up under the covers for a while hiding. Doubting. Questioning. My waking thoughts were ones of seeing

what has NOT been done. I carefully examined what has FAILED and FALLEN SHORT.

I allowed myself to generously list what I have accomplished in the last four years. Gosh! It sounds a lot like the presidential campaign! I was elected CEO of the unborn Forgiveness Walks at the same time that Barak Obama was elected to create a new way for America. Now, this is getting interesting!

Like me, he had a clear dream and a compromised system to implement his dream.
He’s done a lot to fulfill it. Tested some programs. Got some results. He still isn’t finished.
And the popular opinion is to give him four more years to stay the course.

So, what has the first term of CEO Regina yielded? Here’s a snapshot.

What I hav

e:
Business c

o

n

cept and product/service idea that could work.
Knowledge of components of business
Beginnings of systems that suggest a business and need improvement to work effectively
Words that suggest deep and powerful transformation and have a small voice
Work habits that are sporadic and unfocused
Love of my method and practice
A handful of successful and happy past clients
A product in early testing that needs revision and effective delivery
Lack of technica
What’s more, I have a vision for what this company can be. It’s way bigger than what is evident now. Fulfilling it may use up my life, but it would be worth it.l skill to do what’s next
Resistance to borrowing more funds for next steps
Funding for my personal life, a house I own, people who love me and believe in me
Plenty of teachers, coaches, and content resources both free and paid.
A list of 300+ people who signed up over the past four years.
580 some Facebook Friends who often” Like” my photos and a few who even found me!
Someone who looking for a mentor for hiking the AT.

So, I choose to continue this journey, take up the challenge and keep walking.

What’s YOUR journey?

Please comment below.

Radical Manifestation Evident

Radical Manifestation Evident

When results of working the stages of Radical Manifestation occur, it’s so important to acknowledge and celebrate them! I’m doing that today.

This week, following on the heels of several weeks of focusing my energy and attention on freeing my financial picture and creating new streams of income, I’ve had TWO results.

  • I received a check in the mail that was TWICE what I had expected
  • My banker presented a reinvestment plan that will yield FIVE TIMES what I had expected.

 

I celebrate that abundance is multiplying!

I am grateful for the gifts of the Universe!

I acknowledge my co-creation of abundance by clearing my energy and taking action.

 

Oh, and there are more signs of synchronicity

  • A financial coach has offered a free session for next week
  • A high level business coach has offered a free session for next week
  • A creative life coach has offered a transformative program for December at a very low price
  • A friend has offered to pay for sharing my home
  • A live-in guest completed a house project that had been procrastinated for 10 years

 

While walking into MY dream, I do well to notice the scenery along the way!

 

What’s showing up in YOUR landscape?  Please comment below.

Precious Items

Precious items

This week I have help decluttering my house.  It’s great having help, however, it takes a strong person to manage my resistance! Some items are hard to let go.

Here’s one:

A plain, simply functional box. For the uneducated eye it’s a pretty generic piece of furniture. But for me, it’s a metaphor of a happy phase of my life – homeschooling.

I used this cabinet to organize and store paintings.

I built it myself to fit perfectly in a closet.

Today, I’m letting it go. Marcia, my helper says, “I’m celebrating your release into a new future. You’ll have the artistic phase in your heart”

I cry, the happy memories flooding my body. I resist. I relent. I let it go.

She’s right. It’s not the box that holds the joy of painting with my children. It’s my heart. And that’s not going anywhere but out into the world!

Angry with Political Nastiness?

Do a Worksheet!
That’s a Radical Forgiveness Worksheet.

 

Get one at http://www.colintipping.com/free_stuff

In about ten minutes you can feel lighter, less nasty, and miraculously peaceful and accepting of the person who upset you!

Are you willing to take action to shift the energy of politics? Would you rather maintain the blame and separation of vituperism by shooting off another finger-pointing comment? Or even worse, stay out of the discussion altogether?

Now, with the tools of Radical Forgiveness, we can raise our own consciousness and bring new possibilities to all sorts of relationships.  Politics is a good place to start.

Today, vote for peace and free speech that nourishes.

Do a worksheet!

My Job is to MAKE Peace

AndreaOwen, in her Monday Kick Ass Quote, shared the following: Woen

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”
-Dalai Lama 

Her response was this:

“Quick reality check: Can’t change anything that’s already happened, so might as well make peace with it. Plus, the fastest way I know how to get happier about anything, is to make peace with it.
You don’t have to love it, or even like it. Just make peace.
Interesting quote today. About making peace. Just make peace.”

To my surprise, I noticed a visceral response to reading this. My belly tightened and I felt a stifling tightness all over.
“But how?” I wondered out loud.

A memory flashed.
My mom and the nuns were always saying that. But they didn’t appear peaceful. They looked resigned and burdened to me, but not peaceful.

Fast forward to today. I’m so glad that now I have a way to MAKE peace. I start by allowing the UNpeace to be there and loving myself feeling that.
That’s the first three steps of 13 that take about 10 minutes.

I thanked Andrea and her response reminding me that making peace is something I now know how to DO! And that my job is to teach others how to do it. Her message inspires me into action on my guided walk audio to deliver peaceMAKING.

And that kicks ass! My ass!

In joy,
Regina
Forgivenesswalks.com

Helping stifled souls love and express themselves fearlessly and walk into their dream.