In nomadic lifestyle, smartphone will be my office. I love myself being unskilled and resistant to embracing and mastering the technology of this device.
The other day, a client asked me this. My answer: When you can THANK the person you’re forgiving for giving you this opportunity to learn and grow.
You’re kidding, right?
No. I’m serious.
I’m also talking about Radical Forgiveness, which calls only for a tiny bit of willingness to be open to the possibility that from a spiritual perspective everything happens for a reason.
Yes, everything. We’re talking radical here.
And we’re talking about even the smallest, tiniest, littlest inkling of willingness to be the slightest bit open to the most minuscule possibility that this could have a remote possibility of healing and purpose from a spiritual perspective. There’s a lot of wiggle room here.
Well, maybe that’s possible.
You’re getting the idea! Just a tiny bit of willingness is all it takes to shift the energy of victim consciousness and start walking a path of awakening to our true power which is love.
Hmmm. I’m not there yet.
Right. It’s a journey, I know.
But, you know? Even with what you’re saying now, I do feel a bit lighter and a bit freer from the anger and blame, a little more open that I can have some choice in my situation.
Yes! That’s all it takes- a little bit of willingness to start feeling the lightness of possibility. That’s the path of Radical Forgiveness. It’s a step-by-step journey. Baby steps are fine.
OK. So what’s the next step?
This week I walked a short section of the Appalachian Trail where I had experienced an upset the first time I walked there six years ago. This time, however, I had the tools of Radical Forgiveness with me and instead of upset I had healing and release!
As the Earth passed under my feet, those old emotions surfaced and the memories of being misunderstood, ignored, abandoned and shunned by my hiking partner popped up along with the feelings I had felt at that time. It amazed me how little I remembered of the trail itself, the terrain, the forest, the route. All the feelings came right back, though! I could feel them in my body!
This time I was ready with the Thirteen Steps to Radical Forgiveness, and I used them right there on the trail as I walked! I answered, “Yes!” out loud to the questions, “Are you willing to allow the feelings to be just the way they are?” and “Are you open to the idea that you only get upset when someone resonates in you something you have denied, repressed, and projected onto them?”
As I walked, and answered “Yes” to the questions, I got ideas about different ways to look at the situation, and began to be open to new ways of looking at the healing dance that my husband and I were doing together then. The shame I was feeling when I started the process melted into self-acceptance and the realization that on a soul level, the role I was playing in our relationship was to be the perpetrator in HIS victim story of being betrayed and abandoned in our marriage.
When I completed that section, 9 miles from Wilson Creek Shelter to Daleville, I felt more peaceful and more accepting of myself. I noticed a little less attachment to “being wrong” and a softening of my self-hatred and shame.
Gratitude for a New Story filled me and the trail, once again, revealed its healing spaces for my soul.
I sold my house yesterday.
My nomadic lifestyle has now begun in earnest.
I have the urge to enclose myself, to delve deep inside to discover my new self.
One safe and at home wherever I am in the World.
For tonight, though, I am grateful for the luscious bed at my friend’s B&B near the Appalachian Trail. I lean into the familiar lifestyle of a carefully furnished and decorated home. (Not like my own home ever was!)
Tomorrow, or maybe the next day
My roaming can begin.
Homelife grounds me, assuring me that someone is home.
Today, I sat in one of my favorite spots on the Appalachian Trail, overlooking the James River. Sitting on this rock ledge, a hiker looks south to the ridges that she has traversed over the past days while walking north.
Here, I drink in the sensory delights of rocks and air and sky and light, glad to be grounded in the physical world of Earth! At the same time, I reflect on the passing of my brother who chose to leave this realm for the non-physical experience of Heaven. In this place, magically, I feel closer to BOTH worlds! Grounded in the physical realm, yet easily imagining and subtly sensing the spiritual realm.
I love my Earthly experience, yet honor his choice to join the Spiritual world. At Peace. At Joy. One with All! Blessings to you, brother Paul!
I have a confession to make about this countdown! I planned in a few days of “cushion” time, knowing that if I used my drop dead final day for leaving for my new job, I’d be in the state I am today on my truly last day! Well, that was smart! I had planned to use that cushion taking an extra trip up to the Len Foote Hike Inn, prepared to need the days for unfinished moving business.
As I had suspected, my fictitious penultimate day has me feeling stressed, on the brink of my Stress Syndrome, when I feel nauseous, headachey, cold, and sleepy! This time, I caught myself slipping into it and addressed it. Instead of eating carbohydrates that I crave, I ate a salad with living sprouts and nutritional yeast (for the B vitamins). I breathed into the day, and did a Radical Forgiveness “Emerge-n-See” process, those 4 magical steps to energy shift.
The front door buzzed with activity for an hour late this morning when my two sons arrived, one to pick up the tools he gets to keep, one to get off to class before he moves out this evening. Right on their heels was the designer bringing decorations and advice about cabinet knobs. And just minutes before I was scheduled to take a coaching call, the realtor popped in with a contract to sign. I did my best to relax and assist each one with their goals.
Then, a surprise visitor! My friend, Deanna, had taken a box of photos home with her last week, promising to scan them onto a memory stick for me to help lighten my moving load. Well, there she was, returning them all scanned and sorted! A quick check of the files lit me up with happy memories! One photo helped me realize that even at a young age I imagined myself receiving unlimited abundance from infinite sources. In this photo, I’m letting Niagara Falls cascade into my cupped hands! Now THAT’S receiving!
The coaching call went smoothly, while I paced in my empty studio, missing the couch that’s taking up residence in my sons’ apartment. I had my doubts about taking clients this week while I’m packing, but coaching actually helps ME stay centered and use the powerful shifting tools myself. As usual, I get as much benefit from the session as my coaching “collaborator”.
Time for a relaxing bath! Ease out the sore spots and enjoy the warmth.
Now, I’m recharged and ready to move stuff again. But, the rooms are 98% empty! “When did that happen?! It’s actually happening! There IS an end to the sorting!” I ran the dust mop around the empty rooms, reminding myself to create a blessingway ceremony for each room.
Later this afternoon, another collaborator, Wendy, came to pick up her Satori Game and inquire about learning how to facilitate the game. We explored the possibility of collaborating on a Facilitator’s training. What a fabulous idea! She left an hour later with two projects underway: learning to host Satori Games, and checking into financing the possible purchase of MY HOUSE!
Well, guess what! My stress is relieved! I feel blessed! I feel creative and supportive! I feel productive and supported! Gratitude fills me and I am ready for the next steps!!
“I need a handyperson to come get this box of useful gadgets,” I said. I was stuck sorting a box of tape, a pair if shut-off valves, fence hinges, a wisk broom, string, dryer vent, window squeegee, and other sundry items.
“This is all useful to SOMEONE!”
I pecked out a quick Facebook message to one handyman I know.
Just as I finished, a green Ford Expedition stops at the driveway.
“Are you throwing away this workbench?” a woman calls out.
“Giving it away!” I called back. “Do you want it?”
She and her husband hopped out and happily loaded up the one-of-a-kind table my son and I had built for his sleeping jewelry making hobby. “This is high, just how I want, ” he remarked.
“Say, would you like some other items, good for a handyperson?”
20 minutes later, Patrick and Violet are driving off, the happy owners of two boxes of miscellaneous useful things PLUS the vision of owning their “dream” house – this one!
They were drawn in by the spaciousness, the two levels, the private and natural backyard and the clothesline! “This is like being home in the Carribean.”
I smiled. My handyman had appeared! The garage is getting emptied and my heart is getting filled.
Things really got done in a big way yesterday! I splurged and hired Scott Barnaby to clear my backyard labyrinth. That made it easy to spread mulch on the beds! Wow! Now, it looks more inviting for a walk!
The other major accomplishment of the day was that my oldest son moved to his new apartment. It’s so great to watch our children doing adult things! He took charge of the whole project, and did it HIS way. He rented a U-Haul, loaded it up, with some help, drove off and got ‘er done! In the end, I was most touched by his offer to store some of my boxes of journals and photos – things I will want later but don’t necessarily want to haul with me now. “You’ve stored plenty of my things over the years. Now, I can do that for YOU”, he said. That lights me up!
There’s still a list of projects to do, and the birds are singing and loving the fresh soil on the labyrinth. There’s a perfect branch suspended over the beds for keen-eyed birds to shop for their meal in the soil.
On to painting, sorting and resorting, getting just the right things to pack. And a surprise is on its way too! My friend, John, is off shopping for a camper shell for the truck! I’ll have room for more stuff now!