January 24, 2018
I’ve been playing with possibilities for my summer occupation, with an end-of – January deadline for the secure, familiar job offer. I notice how synchronous messages are helping me, waking me up, calling, supporting my choice, teasing me to choose the new, unformed creation, the entrepreneurial one.
- My song muse wrote: “Let’s pick a date for our songfest. How about June 10th?”
- My Ridgerunner supervisor said, “We’d love to have you…and being gone for two weeks at the end of May would not be good.”
- I am committed to taking care of my grandson for two weeks at the end of May.
- My women’s hiking summit coordinator said, “Time to get your workshop description in for our summit in July.”
- My partner said, “I don’t think we’re good partners for each other” on the eve of our tenth anniversary of completing our Appalachian Trail thruhikes together and being together since.
- Ten women said “Yes! I want to learn your technique for climbing mountains easily.
- A hiker in the women’s group invited me to her AT thruhike group saying, “You always have good advice!”
- A women’s group friend posted as a comment on the thread of another hiker who is struggling with a detractor, “my friend, Regina, could suggest ideas about your Inner Journey.”
As wrenching as it is, being solo removes the puzzle of creating a mutually fulfilling situation for two. I can choose for myself. On the other hand it adds more personal responsibility for logistical details, transportation, safety, cameraderie. Most of all, it dissolves the luxurious thrill of intimate co-creation and reliable companionship.
My whole being is swirling in the soup of choice! It’s an emotional hurricane!