Stifled Conversation

December 27, 2016

Not talking doesn’t work for me. Relating with him now is like relating to my own 40-year old self. Keeping my opinions and preferences bottled up til they explode out, silent response and revealing body language, poverty consciousness and feigned then regretted generosity. 

I want to relate and create from where I am NOW! Relate with conscious purpose, striving for conscious, vibration-raising conversation.

The situation: john is driving along the carlsbad coast witbout speaking. I don’t know his plan or his desire. He spoke earlier of gping on the walk he told me about which I didn’t hear (“you weren’t listening”). I had envisioned doing our REI errand then returning to take johanna back. Well, we just got on I-5 going north. No walk? Dont know. No speaking. 

My choices:

Rant about not talking. 

Silently go along angry and stressed.

Silently go along observing the scenery, breathing, energizing my nonsenses, writing this post, accepting him as is.