Beliefs Create Disappointment

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I can see the journey aspect of choosing a radical forgiveness lifestyle. Every day I can use the 13 steps!
And, I now have a partner who not only READS the steps for me, he knows the first step by heart!
What’s there for me in today’s steps is an invitation to see my job AND my business as canvasses  for expressing my growing willingness to be expressive, creative, prosperous!

That’s what I see AFTER doing the 13 steps today.

Perfect Love, casting out my fear.

How do you see your day’s disappointment as an invitation to allow a new perspective? Let’s chat about it!

http://regina.acuityscheduling.com

Want to use the 13 Steps process, written by Colin Tipping, and shared with his permission and encouragement? Here you go!
http://forgivenesswalks.com/the-13-steps-to-radical-forgiveness/

My S.T.O.R.Y.

“I’m not doing a real business because I don’t have clear products and services or even feel comfortable inviting someone who is struggling with planning to talk with me. I lurk in someone else’s coaching circle, offering suggestions with no authority or compensation; I comment in the women’s hiking group, requesting fb friends, but don’t have my own group.  And if I do share, I’ll do it wrong.I should have my own group but I don’t have time! I don’t know what to call it! Poor me! Dumb me! Unworthy me! Not doing this right me!”

Here’s how this is a Sustained Tale Of Repressed Yearning
I’ve been a shy, jealous, unworthy girl all my life! Yet, I know that I have tools, perspectives, and value to share that can – and has- helped others. My yearning is to contribute, thrive, and easily share helpful tools that help others love themselves, love their walks, love the mountains, feel awesome, and feel radiantly fulfilled.

My Radical Forgiveness steps:
1. You got the story!
2. Feelings: sad, afraid – selfblame and shame!!!!
3. I love myself having these feelings and know that when I’m ready I can choose peace!!
4. I am open to another view. The others are healing angels for me.
Everything is in Divine Order. I am taking small steps and anyway right now, I am working fulltime in a job. Coaching can come when the time is right. I love myself and others just as we are. I agreed to myself to clarify steps, and I could do those rather than tackle the “hard” stuff.

Singing Wild Wind
forgivenesswalks.com/wild-wind

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And charging my Nonsenses with a  color play……

Choosing a New Story from my Satori Board Game deck: “I am the luckiest person alive! I am so grateful!”

Now, on to my day at work, walking this into my body.

Update 12 hours later: As usual, MY projection on the world was inaccurate to what was actually happening – someone I met was getting ready to accept my offer to chat while I was believing I was doing it all wrong. Good thing Spirit is the True guide!

Reframe

It’s always refreshing when I experience a breakthrough from an Old Story to a New Story. There’s a palpable lightness in my body, a giddy sort of happiness, a flood of ideas.

This time it involved a realization that my partner truly is willing to honor the value of my business and willingly schedule time for it on our weekends off from our jobs.

Til now, our stories blended perfectly to give us two days of hiking most weekends. His There’s Never Enough Time For Hiking story complemented my My Expression Doesn’t Matter story.

Something shifted in my perspective this weekend while my sons and ex were getting together. I noticed my beliefs in my former marriage and how the same feelings of unworthiness were brewing in my new relationship.

“Now, that’s dumb!” I thought. “No need to squander  all that I learned from that relationship and repeat it in this one! Why not allow this partner to mirror back a belief in worthiness?”

On our walk, I allowed my feelings to come to awareness – sadness, guilt about my divorce, resulting in separation from my family. I talked about it with him, and he did ok witnessing and validating my story. For a while, anyway.

When he admitted that hearing MY story sucked him into HIS story that he’s a bad person for ruining my marriage I backed off. But, I had taken enough steps forward  that the shift had occurred.

Yesterday, I worked all day on laying out a vision for a 62-day journey toward a product launch for my 62nd birthday. And, I helped him with his taxes, honoring his choice to do them on paper and not with the e-filing program I’ve used.

Old Stories have power! Letting them go frees up a lot of energy to create something else! Let the journey continue!

– Regina Reiter

If you’re suspecting that an Old Story might be trapping you in old patterns, I invite you to take a first step toward freedom – tell the story. I’m here to listen! Click the link below and schedule a complimentary 20-minute Storytelling Session OR write it out and email it to me! You’ll feel lighter right away when someone witnesses and validates your story.

http://regina.acuityscheduling.com

OR
regina@forgivenesswalks.com

Journey Steps

Here’s my action step from today’s call: I will consider  my calender for the next six months, or maybe even the next one month, and design a single focus with specific times that Forgivenesswalks  can operate, ala Laura West and her Passion Project. I can plan that out with my partner and do it. Not a dramatically new idea, I know, but timely for me once again. Steps: 1.Map out times on the calendar that ForgivenessWalks  will be open; 2. Do a BrainDump of project possibilities; 3. Do a “survey” of my community on which project THEY like best; 4. Choose 5. Implement. Comments/Suggestions? Interesting as I write this out, it evokes my own guide for a fulfilling walk – Five Surprising Essentials (Know your Trail, Consider your Timing, Love your Gear, Have Support, Use reliable Energy-Shifting Tools). Time for a blogpost, eh?

Reality

My ex, three sons and baby grandson all got together  this weekend – on the opposite shore of the country. I wasn’t there – and shouldn’t have been. At least, that’s what my current S.T.O.R.Y. (Sustained Tale Of Repressed Yearning) supports.

What a perfect situation for the steps of Radical Forgiveness: allowing my feelings to arise,
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noticing my judgements, loving myself for having them, and being open to a new perspective.

That new perspective was suggested in a Satori Game that I played with a client a few days before the family visit.

Notice the beliefs shown in the photo. It was those New Stories that opened my eyes and heart, though!

Do you have an Old Story to tell? I’m here to listen! Schedule a 20-minute complementary Storytelling Session and feel lighter right away as I witness and validate your story! Click the link and choose a time that works for you.

http://regina.acuityscheduling.com

OR write it out and email it to me.
regina@forgivenesswalks.com

Third Anniversary: A Quiet Heart

It’s three years today that an unknown judge signed my official divorce papers. On that day, I was moving to Virginia for my summer job and my ex was working in China as he had been for the entire previous year. Neither of us were aware that April 9, 2013 was our divorce day. I found out in an email from my attorney a few days later.

But I’ve been thinking about it this week as I delve into my new life. I could celebrate! That seems contrary to the usual view of divorce! Inwardly, though, I am content for that step. It was an honorable way to complete a dead relationship, one that neither of us could revive.

Today, I’m actually doing well! My biggest fear of divorce was poverty. The opposite is my new reality. Selling the family house and tapping into an adequate IRA gave me generous monthly funds to add to seasonal job income. The two seasonal jobs I’ve had have been lifetime favorite “dream jobs” in beautiful outdoor places!

My new beau, whose appearance in my life hastened the end of my marriage, has been a loyal, supportive partner. Although I can see that I can easily create the same issues with him as I did with my ex, I catch myself more often and see how this relationship can be a healing and growing one.

I’m quietly celebrating this calm joy for my heart. I have great respect and compassion for my ex, wishing him well with his new wife. Perhaps someday we can stand together again in honor of each other. For today, I’ll be content with a calm heart in quiet celebration.

-Regina Reiter

Certified Radical Forgiveness Coach

 

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Important Details

A dreaming Pacific Crest Trail hiker posed this question in a women’s hiking forum: “When & where will you start? how long have you been planning? Would you share some of your plans/knowlege… I’m so nervous I feel I will leave some important detail out.”
She’s touching on one of the Five Essentials in the Guiding Star for Radiant Hiking, and that’s TIMING. Timing is essential in many aspects of our fulfilling walks. When we consider our hike in our life, the timing in the seasons, the timing of each section, in our daily pace, and even in the timing of each step, we can fashion a walk that builds from the inside out, one that takes outer shape from our inner intention. Our hike becomes an expression of our purpose and our physical and spiritual rhythm.

My suggestion to her would be to sit quietly and imagine herself in rhythmic timing in all of these areas and listen to that inner conversation. Then, bring those answers into her plan with the trail. My belief is that this will lay a foundation for a radiantly fulfilling walk.

A Hiker’s “Why”

I read this hiker’s blog today. She seems to be discounting her purpose, saying she doesn’t know why she’s hiking, and that’s OK.

http://leftbase.com/?p=1568

To me, it’s a missed opportunity to avoid or discount anwering this important, formative question for a fulfilling walk.

Knowing – or inventing- a purpose for embarking on a journey can help a hiker make important choices about all five essential areas of planning as well as provide quick clarity when challenges arise during a hike.

Better to alter one’s stated purpose during a walk than to skip the enrichment of choosing one on which to build from the beginning.

When I decided to commit to planning my 2007 Appalachian Trail thruhike, two focusing statements arose: I wanted to finish the trail and I wanted to do something that really mattered to me, even though my husband didn’t want to do it with me.
Together, those purposes kept me on the planning path and on the trail once I began.

Deepening these motivations through the walk nourished an inner courage that fueled significant revision of my self confidence and my worldview. When I fulfilled my mission, I knew myself as a heartsinging walker, as a hiking partner, and as a wife who was willing to take a stand for herself in her marriage.

I didn’t know at the beginning that my hike would give me this expanded clarity. That experience grew from my foundational, if simple, purpose to finish the trail and honor my personal dream.

What purpose are you willing to claim for your walk?